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Re: The meaning of depression

Posted by Darkness At Noon on July 25, 2007, at 5:40:31

In reply to The meaning of depression » Darkness At Noon, posted by Sigismund on July 24, 2007, at 19:13:09

> If I had to describe what depression means for me I would say that
> a. I get trapped in words and can't think.
> b. I get trapped in situations and can't get out.
> c. Too much disappointment, bitterness and anger.
> d. I certainly used to feel like people took me over.

Your description of depression is accurate, but I wonder what's the cart and what's the horse. For me:

1. I lose the motivation/interest/energy to do things which are important to me, and which at one time I enjoyed.

2. I cannot tolerate being around people. My social network atrophies.

3. Survival (like getting groceries) becomes a struggle, not a nuisance.

4. Life is painful. There is too much one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Only to pass to the next day which gets marked one day at a time.

To me, the continued 1-2-3-4 resulted in the a-b-c-d. Then, of course, the a-b-c-d becomes another part of the depression.

I've learned techniques to break out of the a) circular word thoughts, although they can be easily triggered again (and broken out of again).

d) People take me over to the extent that I don't have the will to make decisions or take action.

But continued depression definitely b) traps us in situations which cannot be escape while depressed. Indeed, even if the depression stops, we are still stuck with the results of lost or botched opportunities.

c) Disappointment, bitterness and anger naturally flow from the hand that life has dealt us. Not to mention often ineffectual and questionable treatments from the mental health profession. I have learned ways to temporarily dissolve these feelings, but their underlying causes remain, so they return.

But if I had to describe depression in just one word: blackness.


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