Posted by Worry Girl on June 27, 2007, at 14:31:20
In reply to Please tell your social phobia success story, posted by saturn on June 26, 2007, at 23:09:13
I, too, would be interested in hearing others' social anxiety success stories. Mine is maybe what you'd call a partial one.
I still struggle at times with social anxiety, but not nearly as much as I used to; it was worst after giving birth to my 2nd child.
For a while I was on Wellbutrin, among other meds, and I do think Wellbutrin helped me with overcoming some of my fear of being around strangers. But, still, the right things didn't always come out of my mouth so I still felt like a pariah. My general symptoms when I'm socially anxious is a trembling that I can't stop to save my life, breathing rapidly and my mind freezing to the point where nothing comes out right (think blundering idiot); sometimes my voice refuses to come out. I begin to feel like I'm in my own private little bubble separated from everyone else. It's not pleasant.
After moving, and being closer to my family and finding the people easier to make friends with where I now live, much of it has dissipated on its own. It's harder for me to be anxious when someone is friendly and approaches me with a smile and kind words.
Everyone's social anxiety is different, and obviously there are different levels of intensity. Mine was initially triggered in 7th grade because of an entire classroom teasing me for the entire schoolyear during lunchtime. It sort of went away for a while as I got older when I pretty much only associated with my family and work associates. I was always terribly shy when starting a new job, but once everyone got used to me it wasn't so bad at most of my positions.
When, 5 1/2 years ago, I found myself sitting in a house alone much of the day with two small children under 3, and no friends or family it seemed to resurface again.
So I would say that having a supportive group of friends, families or neighbors helps. But it's a catch 22 when you don't know anyone, and your social anxiety sends negative vibes off about yourself to others. That's what happened to me. I somehow came across like I was either desperate, needy, weird, stupid or all of the above - basically I didn't feel like I fit in and they didn't seem to think so either, because my discomfort obviously showed. Wellbutrin helped in the sense that I occasionally approached people who seemed friendly, and it initially helped. But my insecurities came out later and almost always quelched whatever casual acquaintance was starting to bloom. Social anxiety sucks that way.
I have redefined my own social anxiety as being more of a "rejection anxiety". If I feel that the people around me are accepting of me, even if they never speak a word, I'm OK (that might sound odd, but trust me, there can be a huge difference between two different groups of people, neither of which don't speak to you). It's all in how I perceive their body language towards me (averted eyes, haughty looks, coldly ignoring, talking in whispered tones and looking over). I know a lot of this is probably my distorted perception, too. I'm just sharing my experience. I ramble a lot, and this e-mail is no exception.
I would only call my story a bit of a successful one because there are more people surrounding me these days who are more accepting of me and my quirks. Now if I say something that might not come out right, to my friends, that's OK. My family's messed up dynamics is an issue unto itself, but I truly believe they care, even it doesn't always seem that way. It just somehow helps knowing they are close by. And I still get rebuffed by people and am very sensitive about it. I am trying to work on not letting that bother me so much. It's a continuous struggle and maybe always will be but I'm doing better than I used to be. This board really helps, too. I was in therapy for about 4-5 years, and that has been helpful, as well; I highly recommend it.
What is your story?
poster:Worry Girl
thread:766096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070622/msgs/766219.html