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Re: Improving on Carbemazapine - p.s......... b0rderline86

Posted by Colleen D. on April 9, 2007, at 22:20:07

In reply to Re: Improving on Carbemazapine - p.s......... Colleen D., posted by b0rderline86 on April 9, 2007, at 21:47:52

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with the marijuana. I have smoked it on and off since high school and now have close friends who smoke often so that is difficult. It seems I can avoid buying it but I can't turn it down when someone has it.

I used to drink heavily during my younger years, self-medicating to relieve anxiety in social situations. My favorite buzz was three beers and a joint. Now I am on my own with children aged 3, 4 and 7 years, so I can only really drink and enjoy it on Saturdays when the children stay with their father. My favorite thing to do on Saturdays is to go to the casino and have a few drinks and my closest friends like to do this as well. I feel guilty for spending money there instead of on the children, but the whole euphoria that goes along with the "outing" is hard to resist. When I win, I feel great. When I lose, I get more depressed and feel terrible about what I've done.

Please keep me posted on how you are doing with your treatment. You can Babble Mail me if you want by clicking on my underlined name in the header of the post. I would certainly like to hear more about your experience with BPD, meds tried, and goals realized. Did you grow up in a dysfunctional family? I think that my mom may be a BPDer too, now that I look back on my childhood.

Take care,
:-) Colleen




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