Posted by jealibeanz on March 16, 2007, at 10:54:13
In reply to Xanax XR is horrible!, posted by jealibeanz on March 16, 2007, at 10:44:05
I want to give this a try. Just to please him. Just to give him the sense that he is in control and that I don't always get what I want, when I want it.
I did try to generic. It didn't work. I'll now give the brand name a try. I'll have to call in a month for a refill. I guess I'll mention when I leave the message with the nurse that it's not helping at all. The nurses are horrible about giving messages, especially if it means more than just writing the regular script.
He may have a nurse call me back with a message. He may call me back himself, he's done that on rare occassions. I wouldn't mind actually going in for another appointment. I think we have some real issues to discuss.
I don't love the idea of being on medication, especially benzo's, since so many people look down upon them, but other meds have not worked. They help me. Maybe in the future something else will be released to help.
I'm surprised that he almost seems to be trying to cut me back on the Xanax. He was always so good about it before, even increasing when I didn't directly ask. I feel like I've been cut off completely right now. I don't think he realizes that, since it's technically the same drug, he thinks it should be helping.
He might not realize the extent of my anxiety. I always take Xanax before I go there. I saved my last Xanax for yesterday, so I wasn't just on the alprozolam ER when he saw me. Even without meds, I can act OK for a few minutes alone with one person, haha, although if they ever looked out in the waiting room, I'm sure I don't look comfortable. But in a patient room, I'm poised, mature, well-spoken, polite, and act happy. Another hint may be my always sky-high blood pressure(it's always in the range of 150-160/80 and I'm in good shape), which my doc and PA have learned to ignore, because it's due to anxiety.
I don't want to be manipulative, but I'm going to be honest. I know he'll ask about school (I'm either going to PA, NP, or med school, depending on if I get in to a school I like. I was in PA school for 6 months, stopped, and am trying to find a better one. He was so supportive, especially with my added workload of dealing with bad GAD.).
I'm going to tell him that I'm probably not going to any problem this summer or fall. My anxiety is uncontrolled and it's such a stressful and anxiety-provoking educational system and job environment. I don't think I'd ever actually cry (too bad, it would get the point across), since I have such control with him, but I'd definitely appear upset and distressed.
I've worked so hard to get into these programs... a high school pre-med program, all the undergrad prereq's, PCAT's (for pharmacy school), GRE's, interviews, countless applications and fees, paperwork, shadowing, internships, medically related jobs, etc. I know it's what I want to do and would be great at family practice if I had my anxiety under control, but it's not. So, I'm going to settle for something easy and way below my abilities and current education level.
That's going to pull at his heartstrings. He's taken to a fatherly, yet respectful/peer type relationship with me over the past year. He doesn't want me to give up on my life because of this.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:741583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070314/msgs/741584.html