Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Coaxil; it's working,.........yet.................

Posted by halcyondaze on March 9, 2007, at 14:48:12

In reply to Coaxil; it's working,.........yet................., posted by Quintal on March 8, 2007, at 10:54:29

Is this the European brand name? I've never heard of it.

> Some of you might have noticed my near absence from the boards over the last week or so. I began taking the Coaxil brand of tianeptine (usually known by the brand name Stablon) on Monday morning. It was effective within an hour in producing a feeling of utter calm and serenity. after suffering for months with intense nervous tension the relief was palpable - like lifting a heavy weight from the middle of my belly where it had been causing a chronic, niggling pain. Right away though, I noticed I was somewhat distanced from my emotions and I found that uncomfortable and a little disturbing. I returned to my usual tense, irritable self about five hours after taking the first dose. I debated whether to take it again, but after suffering a bad night and morning the next day I took another dose and have been taking three 12.5mg tablets a day all this week.
>
> Again, I seem to be distanced from my emotions - I feel like I've 'lost touch with myself' in some way that's hard to define, but I find unpleasant. Last night I plugged in my TV set which has been languishing neglected in the corner of my living room for almost a year and watched some trashy soap operas while eating a tub of ice-cream. It's such a normal, everyday thing to do that you might be wondering what the fuss is about, but that's so unlike me - it's like a personality change. I came online and surfed the boards here but couldn't make sense of what was going on, and even when I thought of a good reply, I couldn't be bothered to actually sit and type out a response. I've found myself wanting to expose myself to more stimulation, like the TV (I know........but that is stimulating for me who usually reads a book or sits deep in thought), going outside for a walk, maybe even a run, and the idea of applying for a job even crossed my mind this morning.
>
> I realize that to all the people here who are still suffering this might seem ungrateful, but to me this is actually a reduction in the quality of my life, even though I might be more 'functional'. I seem to have lost contact with the person I came to know so well after quitting benzos, and I'm glad I did meet him - he opened my eyes to many things and this almost seems like a betrayal to him. That might seem an odd and mawkish thing to say, but that's how I feel. I am of course speaking in the language used in 'new-age' humanistic counselling, but that approach made me aware that reality is like an onion skin, with ever deeper layers of meaning and I feel I'm missing much of that subtlety since now I'm taking tianeptine.
>
> It would be easier to live in harmony with other people while I'm like this - it's hard to get worked up about anything, so I'd be more willing to let things slide just to keep the peace. I suppose that would make me seem more compassionate and empathetic, but it's an illusion.
>
> I feel lost in a way - like I could go and hold down a dull 9-5 job for the rest of my life right now and be content that I was doing my bit, paying my way, and not be bothered by or question the lack of purpose and deeper meaning in my life. I wonder if this is how most 'normal' people view the world? If so then I feel for them, they must find spiritual practise and empathy very difficult. That always puzzled and frustrated me, perhaps now I've found the answer? So at least I can take something good back with me from this trial.
>
> I am going to stop the tianeptine because this just isn't the way I want to live my life, but I suspect it will be difficult, and I might not be successful. I understand now why Declan said tianeptine would be hard to give up after a few years of use. That isn't a criticism of people who choose to live their lives in this state, it's my own preference in the direction I want to take my life. I still don't know exactly what that is, but my tianeptine trial has given me new insights and plenty of food for thought.
>
> Q


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:halcyondaze thread:739232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070308/msgs/739554.html