Posted by stargazer on February 22, 2007, at 9:16:55
In reply to Re: Are we culturally primed to expect too much?, posted by elanor roosevelt on February 21, 2007, at 0:56:26
I know for myself, I expect to feel as good as humanly possible, but agree sometimes the expectations we may have for ourselves are above and beyond what our biology, aka, genetic profile has given us. We have to remember from where we came.
My expectations are first and foremost to not be in a depressed, non-functional state that prevents me from working and being a productive and balanced person in the world, able to enjoy things to a certain depree, but enjoy them nonetheless.
I believe I have realistic expectations for myself, but do agree that perhaps many seeking answers for their conditons may have expectations that can never achieved, but they still have the right to continue to try and reach a certain level of functioning on their own.
I do try and find the best treatment for my depression, knowing there is most often room for improvement, either through med tweaking or certainly through changes in my lifestyle, especially exercise, which is usually the first thing that goes when I'm depressed. There does seem to be a point where I can live and be satisfied with my life, although I know I have my own shortcomings and I can't become the person I hoped I would be at a younger age.
For many of us, dealing with lifelong depression, has set us back in many ways; personally, financially, eductionally, and causes me to feel more depressed about not having achieved what I might have, had I not had the condition that I do.
That realization that I will never have the life I dreamed of will always contribute to my depression but I believe if I set realistic goals for the present, it helps me see that I can still contribute and be a valuable person, despite everything I have lost. Obviously, seeing this when depressed is almost impossible.
I don't think I expect anymore than I believe is possible given my understanding of treatment options and being realistic about feeling good on a continuum, not every day, but hopefully more days than not, and maybe on rare occasions, feeling great! I don't think that is expecting too much for myself.
But I do feel many who search and search for perfection will only be disappointed because that doesn't exist, even for those without depression. And there is a point where depression treatment becomes a lifestyle rather than a means to an end. That can be dangerous when the time you spend on depression takes you away from living your life, separate from your identity as a depressed person. A therapist pointed that out to me once and it stuck, that from time to time you must question if you are avoiding living by using depression as an excuse.
I don't think I have done this too often, but I do find myself from time to time, spending too much time on depression, giving it more of a life than I want it to have. It is up to us to keep the search for feeling better balanced with living a life apart from the condition. Depression is powerful enough on its own without keeping the fire stoked continuously.
Stargazer
poster:stargazer
thread:733613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070219/msgs/735052.html