Posted by yxibow on February 17, 2007, at 3:54:15
In reply to Re: bf dumped me because im schizo, posted by med_empowered on February 17, 2007, at 3:05:47
> sorry. I've had friendships/relationships flounder b/c of my neurosis/psychosis/weirdness/whatever.
>
> Try not to think of yourself as "schizophrenic". Lots of people recover. YOU are YOU; psychosis is something you EXPERIENCE.
>
> PS--Your bf sounds unstable. I mean, maybe you're psychotic, but he sounds crazy.
>
> Peace.There is so much misunderstanding about mental illness, and you're right -- you are you, you're not your illness. You didn't will to have it.
I've had people, friends, relations (yes, I'm gay too) flounder also because people think I'm too "intense" or the worst word that I hear "high maintenance." Its the excuse for not being empathetic - life gets "busy" and people become "unavailable." Call waiting has become ubiquitous for selective ignoring.
The person who is going to win me over is going to have to be understanding, empathetic, and as caring as I am to them as they are to me. Now that doesn't mean that one person becomes the end provider -- a relationship still requires work and cannot just be a one way street, but at the end of the day, if someone doesn't want "baggage" -- forget it.
Everybody has a skeleton in their closet and nobody is perfect. I guess I'm a romantic -- maybe not in the chivalrous flowergiving sense, but in a deeper emotional sense. Yes, sex is fun, but I could go without it for quite a while (hell I already... anyhow) if I had someone just to be with.I have a theory of gay relationships that people tend to mature later, although this is changing at least in parts of the world where some sense of dignity is perceived and accepted. People are out in high school, something I wish I could have done, because maybe I wouldn't have had the horrible OCD that basically made it something I've put out of my mind. Not because anybody knew, but because of the triggers that caused a chain reaction of an increasing disorder.
I don't recognize the teenagers today, at least the ones who are so blaze about being out that they fail to remember the generation who came before them. But that's just an observation.
But now, being 30, which is the new 20s :), its a period when people naturally settle down. And my life is being robbed by a second illness but I have to fight against it so I can rejoin the world and find that person who wont think of me in "issues."
You'll find that person -- but you also have to make as much an effort to repair your life, and find the things that make you happy, because when you're happy, it inspires people. And that's a hard thing -- I have years of resume reparation that I need to make in order to become marketable jobwise. Then I can really stand out for who I am to someone else.Some life counseling, for a lack of a better word to describe it, might be eyeopening.
But I feel your hurt -- don't get me wrong.
-- tidings
Jay
poster:yxibow
thread:733528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070213/msgs/733540.html