Posted by ace on February 12, 2007, at 20:43:27
In reply to Re: Emotional Trauma /mental illness/meds ?ace, posted by saturn on February 12, 2007, at 18:08:01
> >
> > I really am interested to here if anyone out there has had similiar experiences or can empathize....
>
> Yup. I still have occasional violent dreams regarding my father as an adult. He was abusive while I was growing up, and in my dreams I'm usually shouting FU in his face or kicking the s**t out of him.# This is very interesting. Was he emotionally or physically abusive? I believe I recieved the 'strap' when i was much younger, once when I stole $10, and on some other occassions. Mum very very occassionally gave me the wooden spoon.
I was a very naughty hyperactive child.
I don't believe any violence is good with children, but how the hell did they know???
I know for a fact my Dad was imitating exactly how his father (a staunch policeman and authoritarian of the house) acted. But Dad has a different personality to his (deceased) father, and is very inconsistent in his discipline.
I know a part of me still holds much anger at them, but I love them so much. We all do things that aren't the best things to do. Like me continually lying to my Mum to get Money. All we can do is be AWARE and try to curtail our behaviours.
Like yourself, I am not sure this trauma will go away, and I am POSITIVE it caused my mental illnesse(s).
I state that i DON'T blame them: it is not their fault, my fault, no ones: it is the way things had to be.
One other question: how do you feel towards your Dad now? Have you discussed this with him?I can tell Mum feels extremely guilty deep down when topic is raised, and I actually feel very hurt that she feels this guilt.
Things can always be worse but: Dad wasn't like an alcoholic who bashed me evrynight and took drugs. My parents are very old-fashioned.
I always remember after my Dad strapped me, it was all over. 5 minutes later he would say "how are you mate" I think he just though a punishment was needed and after that all was done.
I doubt this will ever go away, and perhaps it shouldn't. Maybe it's my mind's way of dealing.
I think it is....the rage is outleted in sleep, via subconscious.
> I don't presume to entirely blame psychological/psychiatric problems on my parents, but in truth I believe they bear a large responsibility.I know what you mean. But that's assuming we have 100% free will. I don't think we do. I can't actually see how any of us can....! In a physical world ruled by the laws of physics and chemistry and maths, we are just another energy system/physical quantitity...
> I can recall as an adolescent trying to arbitrate peace between my parents when they fought horribly in front of my siblings and I.Yep. I remember exactly the same. Also when they fought me and my big brother used to cry.
It was certainly not a supportive or safe environment, and I have no doubt that these experiences resulted in mental illness, or psychiatric symptoms. None whatsoever.
How often did it occur.? If you feel anger, hate do you think any way you can let go off it?
> Peace.Things can always be worse!
Ace!
poster:ace
thread:731962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070207/msgs/732280.html