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Re:withdrawl comments redirected

Posted by joslynn on October 23, 2006, at 15:49:18

In reply to Re:withdrawl comments redirected, posted by Phillipa on October 22, 2006, at 20:27:06

To me, that's not depression. Feeling bad during a divorce is normal! And let's face it, at work some people do talk about others behind closed doors. It's called management.

By the way, the first time I went thru a severe episode of depression, I refused to take meds. I was completely against them. I was 25, otherwise healthy, and wanted to tough it out. It did get better on its own BUT I had recently lost one of my two part-time jobs (nothing to do with the depression) so I only had a 20-hr work week or less. I took a lot of time off and couldn't have managed a 40-hr job during that time. I guess a moderate depression started around May, then it was severe from around July-Sept (barely eating or sleeping, suicidal, sometimes unable to get out of bed, also anxiety mixed in) then I felt a gradual lifting around October-November, still depressed, and finally felt normal again by December-January. In March, I got a full-time job, which I was able to maintain.

So all-in-all, I lost many months to the depression. I lived off savings, limped through with the part-time job (which I could barely do and often left in tears) and gradually, the depression did lift. I thought, well, that probably won't ever come back again.

HA HA HA HA HA!

It didn't come back for several years, but then it did, WHAM, worse than the first episode. It was only fear of causing grief in others that kept me from suicide, but I did end up in the ER a complete wreck.

I knew that this time, I had a full-time job, more expenses and responsibilities than when I was 25, and I just couldn't be barely functioning for half a year again. So, I decided to try meds. It was a hard, hard decision, but honestly, I knew it couldn't get worse.

Before that though, I used to say "I could never take meds like those other people."

Then I became one of "those other people." I sometimes think that God likes to make us become one of the people we once judged.

It's a bitter pill, no pun intended. And even on meds, I had an episode of depression, but it was nothing like the other two.

So I'm staying on the meds for now, but I can see both sides.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:joslynn thread:696808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061020/msgs/697039.html