Posted by jealibeanz on October 16, 2006, at 10:21:18
In reply to Re: Several disorders... need a better cocktail!, posted by jealibeanz on October 16, 2006, at 10:00:05
I'm obviously depressed. I've completely lost interest in my future goals. I'm sad, hopeless, overwhelmed, desperate and cry all the time. I have no motivation to do anything. I don't feel like hanging out much with friends.
I know it's very common for people in my situation. All of my classmates are unhappy, and I'm sure some are depressed. Many think about or have tried to drop out. So, I'm not alone, but it doesn't make it OK. Everyday I consider leaving and don't care what it will do for my future.
So, due to my horrible mood, I don't want to go to my appointment. I don't want to force myself to be friendly and polite to the office staff who know me well and will of course want to know how I'm doing at school.
Obviously going to the doctor isn't a fashion show, but this is my field, and I feel the need to look semi-professional. They're used to seeing me dressed to the 9's, happy, energetic, and enthusiastic, which I was last year when interning there.
I look horrible right now. I'd have to actually shower for the first time in a couple of days (I have a long weekend), probably should cut my hair since I haven't in many months, put on makeup and not look like a loser. I should buy a half-way decent looking outfit that fits. I have nothing but hoodies and jeans that I wear now because I've put on weight due to the depression, less exercise more junk food because it helps relieve anxiety and sometime I like to lie in bed all day instead of moving.
I refuse to take an antidepressant. They all make me gain a lot of weight and feel apathetic. I'm already at that point, we don't want to add to it.
I don't want to go in and tell my doctor how horrible school is, how I think the whole education process and stressful workplace is insane, and that they must all be insane for choosing this career (although I'm sure they either felt this way or knew many many friends who did at school). I fed up with healthcare/medicine right now, it's all I do. The last place I want to go right now is a doctor's office:(
poster:jealibeanz
thread:695246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061011/msgs/695252.html