Posted by jealibeanz on August 29, 2006, at 20:15:14
In reply to Last Ditch Effort to Save My Life, posted by jealibeanz on August 29, 2006, at 20:13:13
If he asks about school, which of course he will, my answer will be... "ha, I'm done. I'm not going back. This has been too much to deal with at once." It's the truth. Everyday I think of seriously just leaving, and I might. It's too serious of a profession to prolong it any further. Plus tuition and living expenses are sky high! God, I don't even have real friends here. How pathetic is that? I've managed to keep everyone at a distance because I'm tired constantly, unhappy constantly, and just don't want anyone to really know how much of a struggle each day is for me.
This will shock him. He loves medicine. He thinks I love medicine. We love talking about the small amount of knowledge that I have, and he likes to try to do little teaching moments, without being too obvious. I guess I still do love heathcare and medicine (I want to go into family practice, of all things! I must be nuts, they have to deal with soo much these days, but I really do like it.)
However, my interest has died. I'm no longer confident in my passions due to the depression and the stress and fatigue from the insomnia. I don't even feel much like talking to my friends and family, because I don't want them to know I'm not doing well. I've basically given up on my fun activities, like fitness, which is a passion. It's now just too tiring, too pointless, too boring, etc...
poster:jealibeanz
thread:681286
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060825/msgs/681287.html