Posted by laima on August 28, 2006, at 10:49:14
In reply to Re: What does taking a benzo actually feel }} meri » laima, posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2006, at 21:22:37
> Laima you had me laughing. It's not a joke but I've done the same things. Love Phillipa
Hi Phillipa-
In retrospect, I find this sort of tragically funny, too- there I was, in a period of "not relying on benzos"- but a benzo on those occasions would have simply shut off the frantic and desperate efforts to relax which so badly backfired- so I suppose you know how it is sometimes- anxiety so jittery and urgent that it is just about impossible to slow down to chill.out. Once "quieted down"- that would have been a more effective time to calmly develope some of the non-drug relaxation habits...on my lower dose of klonopin, I am now trying to get those habits figured out and solidly in place so I hopefully don't end up so helpless again in the future--or at least make such scenarios less likely. I also know about myself that I can't rely on benzos constantly and forever- I just happen to develope a tolerance to them rather quickly if I use them regularly. 2mg klonopin-even 1mg klonopin- used to be able to KNOCK ME OUT, stumbley, fuzzed out- etc--but a few months later I felt they did zero- that there was absolutely no effect whatsoever and I was more anxious than ever. To think, I was originally prescribed only .5, or maybe it was only .25- and that was enough! That's how I started an abuse cycle, which I cautiously, hopefully think is now getting under control. (This involved using way more than prescribed to get any effect, then running out early, feigning lost prescription bottles, arousing suspicions, trouble after trouble, and humiliating.) I was finally warned that there would never be any benzo or other abuseable prescription for me ever again if I didn't get myself under control, and that's when tapering started. I think I'm holding steady at .5 now for awhile.
Warmly,
Laima
poster:laima
thread:679936
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060825/msgs/680821.html