Posted by AAA88 on July 25, 2006, at 23:04:07
In reply to Re: Without emotion, posted by mike lynch on July 21, 2006, at 3:23:59
> The fact is, most depression isn't strong enough >to significantly hinder ones life, you could >trial methods like therapy before going on >mindfuck meds Going on meds is like a plunge, you >may dive gracefully into the water and come out >unscathed, or you may hit some rocks and become >permanently hindered in some way..hindered worse >then you were before... you should only take the >risk of jumping into meds if you truly can't >funciton without them and everything else has >been tried.
thats also the way i feel about this topic. a few days ago i was given a starter pack of Effexor XR (1 week of 37.5mg/evening with food followed by another week of 75mg and im to see my physician at about day 10 to talk about the effects). i decided to wait about another week or so and try living with the mind ive been left with and am hoping that i can make myself feel better without meds. im not too sure that im at a point where i really need meds or if im taking things out of proportion.
i smoked marijuana for about 3 years (very rarely drank and used no other drugs) and what happened with me was that i had been smoking and eventually had a panick attack that lasted for an hour or 2 until i finally fell asleep. the next morning i wasnt the same (i was worried it would happen and im thinking that my expectation and fear allowed it to screw with my mind). i would experience strange things (anxiety symptoms, some bad some weaker) for the next couple weeks and the third week i just experienced some of the weaker effects.
its now the 4th week and ive been alright with the weak effects (im used to effects of depression and they dont make me feel like ive lost my mind, so i try to convince myself to feel safe with the anxiety effects) but last night and at points today i wasnt feeling too good, kind of like the "ive lost my mind" effect. the thing is, i think something in my brain is tricking my mind into believing non-sense which makes me feel these effects of anxiety and act like its really a problem.
some times i feel like im back to normal and can take care of this whole thing with my thoughts and actions, but then theres those times where it seems like i really need to take some meds to fix this. im hoping thats just a stage which is tougher to control with my free will but that its still possible.
as i mentioned already, i experience depression too but not to the point where ive actually thought about seeking help, other than from myself. once in a while id go through stages like where i dont want to do anything i enjoy and just hit my head against the wall or beat my fists on things, but ive learned to let it pass and help myself rather than let the effects really mess with my mind. the regular depressed mood i have is something im used to and i can still try enjoying things and wanting things. its almost like nothing is actually wrong unless people put a label on it and make it an issue or if i envy others for the way they experience things with their emotions. for me its just been another way of seeing and experiencing life in this world. just makes it tougher to fit in and keep friends among other things if you live in a small area with lack of distinct groups.
and with the way i see my experience with depression, im hoping i can see my anxiety in a similar way to the point where it no longer bothers me. it just seems a lot tougher, like its really f*cking with and controlling my mind.
i can remember that when i was younger i often felt nervous when approaching certain situations like anything social, and that i had certain phobias such as spiders and heights. i realize now that its probably a sign of being prone to an anxiety disorder (my brain tricking my mind into believing and acting on non-sense, although some things are honest fears like heights but i didnt have to feel the way i did about it....in recent years ive toned down my fear of heights so i still understand the safety issues but i dont get those mind-f*cking sensations).
through my experiences and observations with depression and anxiety, it seems as though i can control it with my thoughts and actions but that certain stages can make it tougher to control in those ways (cant think straight [thought] leading to not being able to do what i need to do in order to "fix" it [action]).
the past week hadnt been so bad and i thought my effects would get better with time as my subconcious mind got used to how things were, but last night and parts of today have been pretty bad. so if i keep encountering these more intense stages of anxiety (it seems to make depressed thoughts worse too) should i keep trying to fix the problem with my mind (risk having it drag on and get worse) or should i try using that starter pack my physician gave me (risk all the short-term and long-term side effects people seem to have)?
im new to the whole scene of treating these symptoms, but it seems like theres too many cases of meds ending up screwing over the users making it not worth the risk. ive read about other ways such as audio programs that reshape mental patterns and our automatic thinking (i guess that means subconcious mind in other words hypnosis?) and other books with how-to instructions. does anyone know about true results from using those methods? or maybe i should seek help from a therapist (maybe thats similar to the way i try to help myself)? i just dont know of any around my area so id have to go to the city.
poster:AAA88
thread:668080
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060724/msgs/670559.html