Posted by maryhelen on March 31, 2006, at 15:34:33
In reply to Re: Many questions - but no answers - Met. Aci. » maryhelen, posted by TylerJ on March 31, 2006, at 10:00:28
He Tyler:
I have been with my psychiatrist for 6 years now. I met him at a Treatment Centre, but I have been able to stay with him after I left. Ironically, I was being detoxed from percocetts and dilaudid (which I stupidly took for 2 months not knowing it was 9 times more powerful than morphine). I have been in treatment 4 or 5 times now. The thing is I have no problem getting off the percs. It was staying off them. I have had depression all of my life, not really knowing it. I have been treated for the last 25 years with, well like so many of us, more meds and combinations than I could ever remember, 8 psych hospitalizations, shock treatment twice, etc. etc. etc. Nothing worked, except an 8 week response to Lamitcal three years ago.
The reason I am mentioning this, is that when I started to use opiates for migraines at 36 years old, I began to realize that I wasn't depressed when I used the percocetts. Then I was told I was a drug addict and I was depressed because of the pills, if I stopped taking pills the depression would go away. Therefore, the treatment centres. But, no matter how long I stayed off the percocetts, 2 years once, I still had the depression. Right or wrong, when the depression gets so bad and I am suicidal, I would and still do to this day, get the percocetts or some type of opiates and be out of the depression within hours.....still brainwashed that I am simply a drug addict. I started seeing some research on the net that there are people like myself, who only get relief from their depression from opiates. So maybe I am not crazy. I know it is an urealistic treatment for some people, because you do end up having to take more as your body tolerates it. My pdoc even tried methadone, being an opiate, thought it might help. The clinic would not go up to the high dose I would have needed and it turned out to be a horrible experience and I went through hell.
My pdoc, over the years, has come to realize that the opiates are what takes my depression away. I have asked him to prescribe opiates, but he said in good conscious, he cannot. We are waiting for the Canadian government to release a drug called Buprenorphine, works similar to meth. We have just started a new drug combo...lithium, lamitcal and cipralex. The only reason I can be on the computer is because I had a terrible fall and I have percocetts for the pain. Sometimes, I think I must be like an animal with the huge amounts of some meds I have taken and they don't even affect me. For instance, about a month ago my pdoc prescribed a medication called dextroamphetamine, seldom used, but can be tried for chronic clinical treatment resistant depression. He took a big risk, given my tolerance. This drug used to be sold on the street as 'speed'. He doubled and tripled the dose, said don't split it take them all at once, and was stunned that it had no effect on me positive or negative. It was like I wasn't even taking it.
So, we will continue with this new regime and if this doesn't work, into hospital for 3 months for the third round of shock treatment. In the meantime, when things get so bad that I can't stand it and I become suidical, I will get some percocetts, by double doctoring and breaking the law, which terrifies me.I am sorry. As my daughter says, Mom, you have to learn to edit when you write or speak. You go on for too long and I am afraid I have here.
Thank you for responding and for your suggestion.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:625248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060329/msgs/627156.html