Posted by simon levane on January 31, 2006, at 12:36:21
In reply to Re: Suicide on Effexor, posted by Devastated Mother on January 31, 2006, at 9:25:16
> I am incredibly sorry for your loss. It has indeed been a long uphill battle with my own feelings in the face of this loss. I am sure it is not over.
>
> Did you report the doctor to anyone or take any other steps?We lodged a complaint against my daughter's last psychiatrist as he had refused to see parents. He actually told my daughter (paraphrased) "I am not a child psychiatrist, so I only see adults, not parents of children"
Had he seen us, we could have given him so much more information. The sharing of medical records between doctors is terribly flawed. Our family doctor hardly sent very accurate medical history to other doctors and the doctors we saw were truly ignorant about how to involve parents in my daughter's care.
I have lived in the most terrible guilt because I believe that I failed my daughter... but I had not understood how my mistakes could contribute to such a terrible outcome. Personal flaws like being a book addict, and not very good at housekeeping, as well as just getting so frustated at her behaviour that I had become reactive to her as a mode of relationship rather than loving. This was part of her illness -- avoiding school, and she became addicted to prescription drugs. It is a long story. I wish I had researched her illness myself, but as she was seeing doctors, I thought that I didn't need to do this.. and I was seeing a psychiatrist for support as well as attending a parent support group, but now I realize that none of the doctors had a very good understanding of her illness other than this common characterization of "being difficult".. And I just did not get the information about risk that should have been there as a front line reality.
The doctors basically excuse themselves by saying " depressed people kill themselves" but the fact is that my daughter was anxious and unhappy but not necessarily depressed, and one of the risk factors for her illness is impulsivity, so the combination of the effect of the effexor with my daughter's use of prescription drugs took her to an impulsive act in the subway. A friend told me that he knew a man on Effexor who was in the subway and was actually thinking of jumping, but when the thought of getting a coke crossed his mind, he went to get the coke instead of killing himself.
I have since read so much about risks and realize that our doctors simply did not put two and two together in keeping us informed - and her last psychiatrist blocked our input and in doing so he lost valuable information that could have saved her life.
When I told one doctor about the risks of ritalin as kiddie cocaine, he told me that he had never heard of that.. Imagine, a doctor prescribing a drug to an adolescent/young adult without realizing a very serious risk.
I was a single parent. Neither my daughter's mother, nor I were perfect parents, but we loved her dearly and struggled to try to help her with her behaviour, but we failed because neither of us really understood what was wrong with her. No one really explained it in a way that could have helped us keep her safe. At end, the risk factors of her illness and our failure to understand cost her her life..
It should not have happened. It could have been prevented. The tragic stories are in the background for a lot of people -- sad news that does not touch too close to home, but when it happens to self -- and my daughter's room is now empty of her forever, and I long for the sound of her voice and her smile, and laughter, and miss her knowing I will miss her for as long as I live, then the anger inside for failure of medical caregivers with their vaunted egoes and so-called intelligence -- to help... I wish they could experience my agony for one day.
poster:simon levane
thread:601406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060129/msgs/604832.html