Posted by shasling on January 19, 2006, at 0:41:24
In reply to Tired-all the time? advice?, posted by Paulbwell on January 18, 2006, at 22:31:49
> I have been apathetic lately and tired, all i wanna do is sleep, and leave the world alone.
>
> I have had blood work done, repetedly, and it's ok.
> I feel like sleeping away my life and waking up in my 70's 80's only to die.Agghghhg! I have spent most of my life doing those three things. That waking up at 80 to die thing constantly eats at me. It frightens me and makes me angry.
After hiding my condition for so many years and feeling like such a freak for sleeping my life away like a zombie, having zero interest in life, and losing friends and marriages over it, it simply blows me away that you all can keep speaking my mind and articulating my experience in ways I never could. Its incredible, and makes me feel at home. Thank you for that. I thought I was the only one who thought I 'd wake up only in time to die. I even felt like a freak as a depressive because nothing ever worked, and all those "just ask your doctor" commercials just mocked me, saying all they have to do is give me a pill and then I'd be all better. Nothing ever worked and I felt like even more of a failure and a freak.
I was recently diagnosed with atypical depression and the more I learn about it the more it appropriate the dx. I am SO relieved to actually have a valid diagnosis of a real condition that explains me, and it isn't my fault, and that I'm not just super lazy. Anyway, they are starting to think Atypical Depression may be a discrete depressive condition, not simply a spot on the depressive continuum (sp?) because our cortisol response and perhaps sleep architecture is different from both non-depressives and 'typical" depressives. (I know cortisol always made me feel GREAT.) But I digress...
Sorry to derail your post, but it still freaks me out when you all describe my life so well. I have spent so much energy trying to cover up the condition so as not to lose people that accepting it feels so free and I get excited sometimes.
Okay, I say all that to say this: you might want to Google atypical depression or vegetative or retarded depression, see if it rings a bell with you. Knowing the enemy is the first step in defeating it. Now that I know what mine is, they gave me the right meds and I had my very first positive medication response. Only took them three decades to figure it out - cause a lot of docs aren't aware of it - and I don't want anyone else to have to wait that long in the off chance that they have the same condition. Particularly since its fairly easily treated once you know what it is.
I really hope for relief for you, whatever your condition. Living like that is awful.
poster:shasling
thread:600569
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060115/msgs/600604.html