Posted by JahL on January 1, 2006, at 19:50:59
In reply to Re: Odd but serious query » JahL, posted by ed_uk on January 1, 2006, at 2:52:27
> Hi J :)
>
> Haven't seen you for ages! How are you doing?Hi Ed.
You know when you have nothing positive to say, sometimes it's best to just zip it?
I'll let you into a secret - I probably only posted last night because I had been a bad boy. I haven't touched any Class A for 8 or 9 years but I was so *bored* last night I decided to swallow some MDMA crystal someone had handed me a while back. I was able to spontaneously smile for the first time in god knows how long. It's (smiling) not something I do very often - back in my clubbing days I would have girls approach me and say "will you smile for ****'s sake!?!?". Seriously. Once a very attractive girl grabbed me by the chops and *made* me smile! Dyin' for it ;-) [reminisces...]
Anyway, that more sociable state lasted a couple of hours and suffice to say I currently inhabit the same dark place I always have.
Hope exists though in the form of a Chinese source for Mifepristone - the drug I think most likely to help me. I'll start one of those drug-blogs here when it arrives. I might be the first? Vicodin is unsurprisingly proving much more difficult to source, but the hunt goes on.
Oh. After 8 years I no longer have a pdoc. I recently moved house and was assigned to this new guy. A socially inept little narcissist, he originally assigned me to a 25 year old SHO who 'wasn't familiar' with Bipolar NOS. Great start. Didn't show his face til my 3rd appt and then only to tell me that I 'obviously' needed to 'reason my way out of Bipolar' (WTF???). I questioned his grasp of psychiatry - he told me he 'didn't believe' in drugs - only for him to tell me he thought it was possible to 'talk' people out of having diabetes (I had made the biological disorder comparison). I kid you not.
I felt a strong impulse to chin him - I get a lot of violent ideation - and so I *had* to walk out, though not before delivering a well-constructed (if I say so myself) character assassination right in front of his protege. I now have to pay £240 an hour to go private. :-(
Anyway, self-absorbed ramble over.
So how is life treating you?
You seem as chirpy and prolific as ever :-)
I noticed you were posting late last night. Does that mean you missed all the festivities?
I really missed the sparkling company of all those once a year beer-monster lightweights...
Take care,
J.
poster:JahL
thread:593762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051231/msgs/594137.html