Posted by jclint on November 30, 2005, at 17:03:36
Over the half year or so I have been experimenting with many different medicines. I have tried many types - 2 SSNRIs, 1 MAOI, 1 RIMA, 1 mood stabilizer, 1 benzo, 1 beta blocker... and 3 antipsychotics.
I was quite optomistic about the antipsychotics for a while. My first was Seroquel, then Zyprexa, then Amisulpride. And although I coped with them and lived with them, in hindsight...
*I can't believe anyone can lead a normal life while on them!*
Now I'm not saying that people who take them don't lead normal lives, or shouldn't, only that the HUGE way they affected me made it so hard to lead a normal life. If you are taking them, and living normally, hats off to you - you have more strength than I had!
Out of everything I've taken, Seroquel and Zyprexa have been by *far* the worst in terms of side effects. I've never, ever felt so drugged as on Seroquel. I hated the fact that my sleep patterns were dictated by my nightly pill taking - it meant I could never be flexible with my sleeping hours, which sucks big time for a young person. I went on holiday in the summer, and the flight back was at night - I took my pill late, an hour or so before take off. I've never battled so hard to stay awake in my life. I leant against the window resisting sleep, as the attendants wouldn't let me sleep until the seatbelts sign was off! Sounds funny thinking about it, but it was hell at the time. To put it the other way around - it was like trying to go to sleep after taking a years worth of speed - hopeless.
I generally slept for 12/14 hours a night, and this was after I became 'tolerant' to the sledgehammer sleepiness. I had sexual side effects, and huge daytime drowsiness as I could never get my 12/14 hrs sleep the drug made me need. So I switched...
...To Zyprexa. I was assured that Zyprexa wasn't as sedating as Seroquel. Great, I thought, Seroquel without the sleepiness! And yes, she was right: it wasn't as sedating... but I wasn't expecting the one huge mother of a replacement: eternal hunger. In hindsight, I really don't know which was worse, endless sedation or endless hunger. It was so inhibative. I would salivate at the thought of food. I'd get huge meals, with crisps and chocolate on the side. It made me LOVE food. When I got pizza, I got the family size one to myself - the 2-4 people one. I always finished it, and 30mins later, was checking the cupboards for something else to nibble at. I used to eat crisps all day. I developed an addiction to fruit gums, and at the office I worked at, bought and consumed about 4/5 packs daily. Every morning at the canteen I bought 8 pieces of toast. I would have got double that, but was too embarressed to be seen with that much food. The motivation for my work was food - I'd do 30 mins typing, then get a snack, 30 mins typing, ect. I stayed on Zyprexa fo r about 6 weeks I think, waiting for the hunger to stop, but it didn't. It was such a bittersweet nightmare: it inspired a passion for food, but made me eat about 4 times as much as I normally did, literally. And to add insult to injury, my tiredness was still waayyyy to high - not the same horse-tranquiliser-seroquel feeling, more general sleepiness. I used to treat myself to a movie after work, but never made it past half way. I had to keep moving or I'd fall asleep.
The most unusual side effect of both Seroquel and Zyprexa, and you may be surprised to hear this, was movement problems. Even on the low dose of Seroquel I took, after a few weeks I began noticing 'muscle twitches' throughout my body. They were like little spasms, which increased in severity and quantity the higher the dose I took. This worried me greatly. They sometimes happened in my face, and became visible - the eyelid spasm was especially worrying, as I'd heard about that as a symptom of TD. The only thing that made me think it *wasn't* TD is that the spasms were never in the same place. They were quite embarrassing at times. If I wore a short sleeved t-shirt, you could occasionally see the muscles in my arms spasming under my skin for a second or two. It was very, very scary. Naturally, my doc was skeptical about this, me being on the lowest dose of the safest atypical AP, after only a few weeks. I can't explain why it happened, but I can assure you, it did, and was very real. The same continued on Zyprexa. Only this time, I noticed other problems, like hand tremor. Now, 4 or so months post-APs, I still have some residual symptoms. They still scare me sometimes. The spasms have mostly gone, but my hand is not as steady as it was before APs. You know when you get your leg in a certain position when sitting down, on the ball of your foot, so that it tremors automatically? Like when you've had too much coffee? Well that has increased dramatically for me. It is embarrassing sometimes, as it can happen walking down stairs, or when sitting cross legged supporting a newspaper. Generally 'Parkinsonian' tpye problems. Touchwood, they are fading away slowly.
After realising there was no way I could possibly live like this, I dropped them all. My doc tried to switch me to Risperdal, but I slapped myself round the face before collecting the prescription - I can't function on antipsychotics. I never collected the Risperdal. I started lowest dose Amisulpride (which isn't like the other APs), which was much milder. The only problem there was complete sexual dysfunction - although that faded after some weeks. But ultimately, like the previous two, it didn't have any positive effects.
I don't mean to discourage anyone who's on antipsychotics, not discourage anyone who is interested in trying them. I would never imagine that my experience is the 'normal' response. But goodness, even if you Seroquel/Zyprexa takers have half as many side effects as I had, I salute you :) You are clearly more hardcore than me! Now, on Lamictal and Cymbalta, I can't ever imagine going back to those days. You guys on APs, good luck to you all, but I wont be joining you! :D
I realised I've blabbed on a bit, but I rarely talk about my med experiences on here, and wanted to tell you all about my strange and wonderful encounters. Now, I'll do what I could never do a few months back - its 11pm, time to enjoy a late night movie... and be up bright and early at 9!
Bye! John :)
poster:jclint
thread:583797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051126/msgs/583797.html