Posted by april8 on November 11, 2005, at 20:12:33
My pet guinea pig died Nov 2nd and I was devastated. I have never heard the sounds that came out of me until that moment I found him dead.
I am a survivor of childhood trauma, with abuse from my mother and father who I have not seen in 17 years due to their abusiveness.
I am one of the niciest people you could ever meet. I was working for the last 3 years with women and children who have HIV/AIDS. My job just ended Oct 31st, and I was already sad at having to say good bye to so many clients. I lost all of these amazing connections because my program was cut. In August my most beloved client died. That was devastating also.
But Marmot my guinea pig is even worse. It tapped into some kind of huge emotional pain that is unrelenting. It has to do with him and also the loss of my sister when I was four. I am frightened by how devastated I am.
On top of it all of my friends have flaked on me. I am having a really hard time being alone. my boyfriend lives with me, but is working all of the time. I can't be alone.
I am really a wreck and thinking I might go into the hospital for a couple of days. I can't be alone.
Any support would be so great appreciated. Marmot was the first creature on this earth I loved fully without any reservation. I miss him so much. I can't believe he is gone.
poster:april8
thread:577893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051106/msgs/577893.html