Posted by Chairman_MAO on November 1, 2005, at 10:16:38
In reply to Re: Nardil update » Chairman_MAO, posted by gardenergirl on November 1, 2005, at 10:04:32
One would think you are correct. However, I suppose for one to think you are correct, one would have to think at all. Sometimes I want to tell these doctors tah think they know so much about addiction because "I've been doing this for 20/30/etc years", "Well, man, I'm sorry to hear that, because you're awfully clueless for someone who's been doing something for two decades!"
Having taken 3mg of Lunesta last night, I have no reservations saything that I have never, in my entire life, felt so balanced, focused, clear-headed, spiritually connected, motivated and SOBER in my entire life. I feel like I did when I was 20-21 and started seeing the Hegelian dialect in everything--like the trees that lined the streets. A certain ineffable "richness" to the content of thought in my mind is coming back which is something that I thought quite frankly was permanently over for me, a rhelic of a time and place in my life that I could never return to. The difference between then and now is that back then, I would feel elated at such thoughts and then out of nowhere, for seemingly no reason, plunge into depression and self-loathing. Sometimes I'd end up being in tears by the time I finished that walk that started out so well.Quite a few doctors have tried to "rule out bipolar", but a)I have never had a positive response to a mood staiblizer b) I have only experienced a drug-precipitated manic epiosde ONCE (high dose amphetamine, opioids, marijuana, and god knows what else).
Doctors need to understand that for most people with addictions in their past, sobriety was anything but sober. Feeling like this, I don't even want to have a cup of coffee because it would mess up the way I feel.
poster:Chairman_MAO
thread:574094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051031/msgs/574125.html