Posted by Keeta Orenda on July 17, 2005, at 14:40:50
In reply to Re: Zoloft - No other drugs left??! » Keeta Orenda, posted by Jazzed on July 17, 2005, at 7:53:23
*sigh* My p-doc that was prescribing the Effexor & the Adderall for several years was really an unavailable doc. When I BEGAN going to him, he called himself "semi-retired" at that time and over the years, it's just gotten worse. So, it was time to find another doctor. I'm in the USA & am on the state medical insurance program and so I'm limited as to who I can go to....the insurance has a bad reputation & fewer & fewer doctors are accepting it.
The very FIRST doctor who started me on anti-depressants and Adderall....well, I voluntarily quit seeing him. Several things bothered me about him. First off, I was a fully-functioning employed person before starting all this. I've always suffered from depression and have always had a hard time doing my work, but, I managed somehow. I blame that first doctor for "convincing" me to go on Disability..and I never was truly convinced. To this day, I'm not convinced that going on Disability was AT ALL the best & productive thing to do! But, now, I feel stuck, trapped, & helpless and I don't know how to get myself out....I don't feel like, at this point, that I'll ever be able to think & function normally. And in looking back, I remember a bunch of struggling to perform my duties & stay afloat & employed. Only once was I fired 'cause I couldn't do the job well, and I even think there may have been other more personal reasons I was fired and that my job performance was good enough to keep going.
So, anyhow, I was seeing that first doc for a couple of years. I was on the Effexor, Trazadone, and Adderall when my sleeping problems came to a head and I guess you could say I was fired from there too....I saw myself slipping each day & I felt really helpless to do anything about it. I was chronically late to work cause I couldn't get my drugged butt outta bed on time! And I finally got a warning that one more tardiness & I was outta there. So, there was one more time & I didn't even bother going in. I can't outright say I was fired 'cause if I had not been on those meds then I wouldn't have had such CONTROLLING sleeping problems & I could have continued my existence there.
At the time, I didn't know it was the Effexor zonking me out so bad....'cause I knew that the Effexor and the Adderall were both making me feel a lot better emotionally! So, it had to be something else. Trazadone? Well, I suspected since that helps you sleep, that THAT must have been responsible for my extreme somnolence! So, after I got fired/quit, I quit the Trazadone. On looking back, I think it may have been helping a lot as far as the depression was concerned, but, oh well.
So, there was the Trazadone & then there was ME! Good God, what a mess! :-) I never have eaten right nor have I exercised. So, I decided that there was nothing that could be done about me constantly sleeping other than eat vegetables--which I LOATHE--and exercise. I didn't really realize that I was being drugged "out of my job"....I just figured I was unhealthy & hopeless. If I had only known it was the Effexor all along, I might still be employed today. Who knows.
And the thing is, I don't wanna just "get a job" and barely hang on again..with no ambition or ideas for the future. I want a CAREER, not a job. I want to get so enthusiastic & excited about an Interest that I really want to do it for the rest of my life! And I want to be GOOD at something! I want to be proud of myself, of my accomplishments. My brain feels so inept these days! I'm sleepy a lot of the time; I feel confused & unable to concentrate; I want to teach myself this 'n that but feel like my brain power is lacking! I come from intelligent "stock" :-) I'm the youngest of 3 and both of my older sisters are doctors, one medical, the other academic. My parents both have professional/intellectual jobs. I'm smart, really, but, I can't seem to PROVE it to myself! Anyhow, that's enough ranting for this post. Thanks for listening! :-)
--Keeta
> Just curious, why'd you quit the first p-doc? I'd guess if the 2nd will only Rx you 30 mg Adderall XR then they don't specialize in ADD? You might do well to find a p-doc who specializes in ADD. They will treat the ADD, as well the depression/anxiety, but I think if you don't get the right med/dose for the ADD then it's hard to work on the other stuff, unless the depression is more pressing than the ADD. For me the ADD was my primary issue. Just my opinion.
>
> Jazzy
poster:Keeta Orenda
thread:528261
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050713/msgs/529070.html