Posted by barbaracat on June 22, 2005, at 19:01:11
In reply to Re: Lithium: How many times do you dose per day?, posted by yesac on June 22, 2005, at 13:13:48
Well, today I'm totally sick of meds. I took a small amount of Seroquel last night. I should've known better from my previous Seroquel attempts. Woke up but barely and the whole day is now shot. I can't do a thing and have been trying to numb myself with various benzos just to sleep, but it's like my GABA receptors are fried.
As for the Ritalin, I'll probably just stick with it as needed, when I want to get extra work done. No way do I want to add another chemical on an ongoing basis. I think I'm doing damage to my poor liver trying to handle all these foreign substances.
Cymbalta at 30mg sent me into such a tailspin that it brought back vivid memories of acid trips, and not good ones. I know some people can start at 60mg and barely feel it, but I'm only at 8mg after 5 months of slowly titrating and if I take even 5 pellets more I feel it. So it's a dance. It seems to be helping me considering the bleak place I was in last February.
One more interesting note I don't have the energy to get into right now is I've decided to try to stop lithium for a while. My prescription ran out, my pdoc has been taking her sweet time to authorize the refill and I've been without for over a week. I'm starting to feel that old feeling, but this time by God, I'm determined to observe the course of this and ride it. I don't need to brand it sickness but I do need to look straight into the face of this entity now, while I have strength and support nearby. There's some puzzling need in me to throw down the gauntlet - that it's time to prove to IT that something, some light within me can contain and use that high energy state without getting burned. I've got plenty of books on the subject and lot's of good philosophy and spiritual practice, and as long as my mind can hold together to remember, I'll fight the good fight.
I'm no fool, I'll wean off slowly, but I'm needing to do this for as long as I'm able. Right now I don't even have a choice because she hasn't gotten back to the pharmacy and here I am trying to make the best of it. Hence the Seroquel last night - but never again. Never did like that stuff. Will keep you posted. - Barbara
poster:barbaracat
thread:509665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050622/msgs/517214.html