Posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:54
On Wednesday night I went out, drank a lot of alcohol, did some cocaine, and ended up at my apartment with two strangers and /no/ idea how they got there.
I only remember things in scattered way. But ... they involved:
(a) Getting randomly naked and running around my apartment
(b) For some reason taking my medicines and putting them in different bottles. E.g., my Geodon is gone (for all I know I took it all), mySeroquel was on the floor, my Celexa and Lamictal I'd mixed up in a single bottle.
(c) Trying to sleep in my roommate's bed (she was gone), adjusting the clock for some reason, and somehow unwiring her TV.
(d) Running up the street to find my drug dealer, ringing the door of his apartment, and running back down to my apartment.
(e) Waking up on the couch some time later, naked, under my blanket (thank god), and to the sound of my roommate talking to her friend and reiterating how sick she was to her stomach about all this and might stay in a hotel. I also heard her say I had apparently opened up a small souvenir bottle of alcohol she'd brought home from Miami.
*** An aside: I first wrote "Making," not "Waking," above, and have been making (yes making!) these types of errors since I woke up Thursday. :( ***
(f) Finding I'd spent over $300 on cocaine and didn't have any of it left, yet not having a bloody nose nor bloody phlegm, which makes me suspect I didn't do much of it.
So, in light of all this, I wonder: was this a manic episode, or could this have been solely the work of cocaine and alcohol?
If it was a manic episode, does that make me bipolar I, even if it may have been cocaine induced?
Finally ... my cognition is /definitely/ off. It's been two days, and I'm still having trouble writing each sentence coherently. I misspell words often, words I normally spell with ease. And worst of all, I feel like I'm in some sort of coma-like state -- I don't feel fully "awake."
Does the fact I blacked out mean I'll be forever unable to store new memories or quickly recall old ones? Does blacking out leave a permanent mark?
Am I doomed to feel like this forever now? Are some of these side-effects of Zyprexa, which I just began taking Thursday night?
Thanks for any insight. I am very sad and depressed, with a dry mouth, acne coming, and generally just feeling uncomfortable in my skin.
amd
poster:AMD
thread:500908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050521/msgs/500908.html