Posted by MidnightBlue on April 5, 2005, at 17:03:42
To begin with, like Spriggy I am scared to death to take "new" medicine. I have been on Depakote, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Valium, and Ambien to name a few. SSRIs kill my stomach--I have GERD--and give me migraine headaches. In the past I have been diagnosed as having severe recurrent depression. I have had many bouts through the years.
I lost all medical insurance and access to health care for the last year and a half. I weaned myself off Depakote and Wellbutrin and have made a 90 days supply of Ambien last a year. I fought to buy enough Bextra for my arthritis and Prilosec for my stomach, but could not afford psych meds. There have been many sleepless nights.
I tried to get into clinical trials to get some treatment that way, but my EKG showed frequent early ventricular beats (I had NO IDEA about this)and I was put on hold for a rTMS trial. I asked the pdoc if it could be anxiety or stress and he said no.
The research pdoc noted I had never been on an MAOI and seemed to imply that might help. When I asked him why I was never tried on that med, he said only pdocs prescribe them. Well, I have been to pdocs in the past--4 or 5. It was never suggested.
I started myself on OmegaBrite about a month ago and I'm finally up to 3 a day. My heart seems to be pounding less. I may be a bit less depressed. But I'm scared to even take fish oil!
I am hoping to have insurance again soon. It will not pay for pre-existing conditions for a year, but MIGHT if I haven't been treated for them in the last 6 months. Talking to a pdoc and having him tell you he can't treat you doesn't count does it?
Anyway, I'm guessing my internist will probably have to prescribe for me. Last time I saw him he wanted me to try Zyprexa. I couldn't make myself do it. I think I am now considered "resistant" to treatment.
As far as I know I have unipolar depression. I took 1000 mg Depakote only for migraine prevention. It never made me feel better mood wise. Two pdocs thought it was a "good" idea I take it for mood, (to provide a floor). The Wellbutrin lifted me out of a very serious depression years ago when 325 mg. desipramime couldn't. I no longer respond well to Wellbutrin. I have "turned down" Lithium and a host of other suggestions that would have packed on the pounds. If I am bipolar, it would have to be something like bipolar 2 or 3. It is hard to remember an "up" day though I have had racing thoughts and enhanced creativity in the distant past.
I'm now panicked that my husband will lose his new job and source of insurance before we even get the insurance cards. There is some basis to that in that the company he has been loaned to just bought another company and there is talk of lay offs. We have really been through the ringer with negative events the last few years.
How can you tell if you are strictly unipolar, atypical (which I think I might be--I self-medicate with sugar and caffine), or part of the bipolar spectrum? The docs don't even seem to know. And if you were afraid your spouse was going to lose his job again (he has 6 times in the past) wouldn't your mood be reactive to that?
There are so many bright, funny, and intelligent people on here. I am in awe of your knowledge. Please forgive any misspellings. My "mind" is only hitting on half the cylinders. What info can I give my internist and what can I do in the meantime? He will at least listen to me if I can ever get in to see him.
poster:MidnightBlue
thread:480305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050404/msgs/480305.html