Posted by MM on February 23, 2005, at 18:26:26
In reply to Re: Do We Have A Tolerance for emotion?, posted by banga on February 23, 2005, at 13:56:52
Very interesting thread. I agree with most of what you all have said.
I think the American culture is an un-natural one in many, many ways and that certainly contributes to my depression. It seems like a life filled with insane amounts of money, attained by any means, coupled with constant sex with "plastic people" is all that matters to so many, and I just can't be happy with that. I can't sell my soul to have the nicest car on the block and feel good. So, I can't relate to a lot of people and that also contributes. I'm not sure if the depression rates are the same in countries like Italy or Australia, but I do think this country especially is like a breeding ground for this disease, this spectrum (something to do with stress I think). I bring up Italy because it's hard for me to believe their rates could be the same when they actually take the time to come home in the middle of the day for a meal with their family. Or France where people just value a different kind of lifestyle. But, what do I know.
Another thing is that I think everyone has their vices, their drugs in whatever form. Before meds it was alcohol and "recreational" drugs for me, to numb the pain or anxiety. The meds I take now are just sort of more predictable, but I don't think there's a special difference other than the consistency (like if they regulated other drugs). I know I'm numbing myself out, but I'm hoping to use this numb state as a stepping stone to get "fixed" or helped at least in therapy while I'm not feeling too many things to get anything out of it. I did at one point hope that what I was being told about fixing my chemical imbalance was true, but I really don't think so in my case, or at least they haven't come out with the right drug to do it. Wellbutrin helps...the SSRI's were definitely much more emotionally dulling for me. But I don't think I'm going to find a perfect artificial happiness, and I don't really want to. The numbing just keeps me here until.....
I wish I could have been allowed to grieve and take the time I needed to come to terms with the bad things that happened in my life that triggered my depression, and that I never would have ventured down this path, but who knows. I know a lot of normal, happy people who are functioning using means/"crutches" that I really don't want to.As far as becoming tolerant to meds....I think that's possible (although, hopefully not true) and that's why you have to try to not completely rely on the meds.
babble, babble, babble...
MM
poster:MM
thread:461988
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050222/msgs/462399.html