Posted by SLS on February 14, 2005, at 13:35:42
In reply to How on earth..? (Perfectionism related) » SLS, posted by Questionmark on February 12, 2005, at 14:56:30
> Would you mind sharing some of the ways in which you were able to do that please? Pleeeease??? Mine is killing me. Thank you.
That's a hard question for me to answer because I have been doing it for so long, that it has become part of me.I think it is essential to first recognize one's perfectionism and come to believe that it is counterproductive and damaging. You have to believe that you would be better off without it. Most perfectionists believe that their perfectionism serves them well to accomplish things that a lack of perfectionism would not. In reality, one functions more efficiently and can accomplish more in the absence of perfectionsism.
I guess the second step is to learn what perfectionist thoughts and behaviors look like. It is only with the recognition of these that one can begin to modify them.
I use a cognitive-behavioral approach to actually interrupt the cycle of perfectionist thoughts and behaviors and substitute them with healthy ones.
When is something that you do "good enough" to be good enough? In the beginning, it takes some blind faith to try to let go of a project, regardless of how small, as being anything less than perfect and trust that it will be "good enough" to serve its function. You need to learn to walk away. Little by little, you begin to see that most things do not have to be perfect to be perfectly fine :-)
It is a very, very gradual process. It is important to continually tell yourself that perfectionism is bad for you, and that you want to change the way you function. HOWEVER, do not feel that you have to do a perfectly good job of ridding yourself of perfectionism! Episodic failures are inevitable and part of the process.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:441138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050212/msgs/457666.html