Posted by TomG on January 28, 2005, at 16:19:58
In reply to To TomG, posted by pretty_paints on January 28, 2005, at 11:26:03
My symptoms at the moment and just generally are that I have a hard time expressing myself verbally. I recently wrote in a post that I feel like my speech slows down and it takes an unusual amount of energy to speak. My thoughts don't seem to flow and it feels like my thoughts just kind of hit a brick wall. My brain feels locked up and tensed up to a certain degree. In other words I just feel stupid!
I recently took Geodon and it is the first real response I've ever had to a medication. The Geodon seem to have a very calming effect to my thoughts. Also if I pay close enough attention at night I can also feel that my body and muscles are very tensed up. You would think that this is just some form of anxiety, but benzos don't seem to help what I have just described. I have recently stopped taking Geodon after six months because at the two month mark I got a very sedated dampening side effect. I lost motivation and just didn't have the booming antidepressant effect that I had when I first started taking it. I tried everything from playing with the dose to trying Provigil, but nothing seemed to help. I was only on 20mgs a day too.
I don't want to make this post too long, but I've had varying symptoms for eight or nine years. The most profound symptoms were when I was using illegal drugs in college. I can't even feel good on those. I've had varying degrees of paranoia, depression, anxiety, and avoidant behavior. I really don't have any motivation now and I don't really even enjoy doing anything and don't even know what I like to do. I haven't completely regressed to what I used to be now that I've been off Geodon for about a month, but my doctor wants me to be off drugs for two months and then reevalute at our next appointment in March.
I could go on and on, but maybe if you have more of a specific question about a symtom I could be better able to help you. It has been a learning process for me over the years just to be able to tell whats going on with my mind. Everything seems to all mesh together, and its hard to write everything in one post. Let me know.
P.S. My recent doctor thinks my diagnosis is somewhere in the area of schizophrenia
poster:TomG
thread:449159
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050128/msgs/449301.html