Posted by violetskyye on December 3, 2004, at 21:18:46
In reply to Re: I'm immobalized by fear, posted by linkadge on December 3, 2004, at 17:32:27
Hi, all. Just a message not to give up hope. I have suffered from anxiety and panic for years, yet I put myself through law school, graduated No. 1 in my class w/ high honors, and have practiced law for years.
Every time I go into court, I feel panic, unreality, hyperventilation. I just tell myself it's just a feeling, and it will pass, and just start talking normally. Strangely, no matter how scared and nervous I am, it's not noticeable by other people! There have been times I was about to pass out when arguing to a jury, and the observers tell me how incredibly poised and calm I looked. [Ironically, other lawyers without anxiety disorders ask me to try their cases because they're too scared to do it.]
I have a reputation for being really good under pressure. So that knowledge has helped. That I just keep doing whatever I'm doing no matter how crummy I feel mentally, and as I continue, I do start to calm down and realize I am competent. Hope this helps.
For meds: 15 to 22.5mg of Remeron at night and 100 mg of Wellutrin SR in the morning, with an occasional shot of Ativan when needed seem to do the trick.
Bumped up the Wellbutrin to 150mg 3 days ago, but I'm more nervous and my ears are ringing, so I'm going to abandon that experiment.
Just my rambling way of saying hang in there, because no matter how scary it is, you can finish your degree and go on to be successful in life!