Posted by headachequeen on November 10, 2004, at 13:52:03
In reply to I need my anti-depressant back, posted by stresser on November 10, 2004, at 12:51:15
> This is my second attempt at writing, because I got an entire post written and hit the wrong button, then somehow deleted it. I THINK. It may show up somewhere halfway written.
Oh good someone else does these things...
I have done this so often and with such bad timing... a whole chapter that just flowed together... felt so good about it... hit the wrong key and it is gone forever and has never come back...
somewhere in space is an entire children's story, the first of a series I want to put together for children to understand that it is all right to be unique and not to follow the crowd...
the second and fifth and seventh and so on are easy to write; they need a first to stand on as it were...
the first was murder to write...
finally managed to put together most of it...
and lost it...
it is on the computer I am told... but I cannot find it...
hit some key and pouf! it became a toadstool...all the anti-depressants in the world won't bring it back...
I have to learn to slow down...
this is another part of my epilepsy, something I thought was a symptom of my 'depression' and that had nothing to do with depression... it was a hint that no one linked to epilepsy because, being me, I had to choose to have this weird form ....
and we learned too late to save these lost bits of sheer genius LOLand again I am unable to recreate the lost bits...
-L, I was told this morning that we all have stress in our lives...
No kidding, says I...
I would never have guessed that (I have been told that stress can cause another serious t/c seizure)
Who woulda thunk that we all have stress in our lives??? I thought everyone sat on a silk cushion being served strawberries and cream and sewing fine seams and all that nursery rhyme stuff...
I was really angry... and creating more stress for myself LOL...
I told this mental midget that I knew many people who would love to live with the minor every day stresses to which she referred...
which outfit to wear to the office, what to prepare for dinner, where to go for the week-end, oh the list of stresses she listed for me were such banal little things...
did you know that choosing nail polish is a stress, ladies??????
well, not for me, as I am not allowed to wear it -- it clouds the issue of oxygen deprivation apparently... there is one stress I am saved...Now I do have the stress of which ear rings to wear... that is a major decision for me...
This person is a counsellor trying to help me learn to manage stress so that I can lower the stress levels in my life, thus preventing if possible repeats of last week...
with intellectual hiccoughs such as she, I am destined to have a t/c before our time expires...She has no sense of the real world...
I asked her if she has ever had to cope with an eating disorder and the stress of living with self-image problems? how about a child with bulimia or binging disorders? has she ever been diagnosed as being bipolar, take I or II, it didn't matter? and I just went on and on...
apparently her happy little life has never encountered these things...
so I said when she has encountered real stress I would consider her as being qualified to counsel me on dealing with and avoiding stress, in the mean time I had a therapy group to attend...
and came home to check this board...some times these people with their titles and letters after their names don't have the B.C.S. to tag along with the other letters and that is the most important degree, Bachelor of Common Sense.
Of course you are feeling depressed with all that you have happening in your life, -L... a daughter you love as much as life itself is worried about her weight and appearance and her binge eating...
and doesn't know if this med is helping...
and won't let you into her life enough to let you judge if it is helping...
you feel totally impotent... and no parent wants to feel as if there is nothing she can do to help her child... parents were created to help their children... especially mothers...
just ask mine... there she was, at eighty-plus years of age, barely able to walk, sitting on the floor cradling my head and talking to me the way she did when I had seizures as a child, smoothing my hair and forehead...
and she said afterward feeling as useless as a limp dishrag...
Oh I think you have every right to feel down and depressed, but you are also determined and a mother and going to pull M through this and yourself with her...
"I really don't know what my real color is anymore"
I think you are at least an honourary redhead...
you have to be to have hung in this long...
and I don't know what anti-depressant med is going to help, but I do know that the anti-depressant US is going to help...
we are here ... just lean on us at will
kat
poster:headachequeen
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041108/msgs/414280.html