Posted by Keko on November 8, 2004, at 12:02:32
Now I'm getting SCARED! Am I latently manic and never knew it???
It's been a little over a week since I've been completely off Lexapro and all SSRIs (been on them since 1992 I believe). Did the w/d thing very slowly with Lexapro, finally pulling away after taking 1/8 of a pill (1.25mg) for a week, so this stuff should be totally out of my system, and the dependency should be gone. You might have read my other messages about irritability. But--I am scaring myself! Yesterday I ended up taking l l/2 Ativan (.75mg), and eventually I mellowed out, but I can't depend upon Benzos to keep pulling me out of this, can I?
Today when I got up, I seemed to be doing okay, but then there were life's irritations. One after the other, and with the third one, I suddenly snapped!!! The final blow came when I missed a phone call, screamed for hubby to hold on, but he didn't hear me as he was hanging up, so I slammed the phone several times, threw the camera I was holding, the batteries flew out, I couldn't find them, didn't care if I broke the camera (it wasn't an extremely expensive one, but still) . . . my whole system was screaming at that point. I then left a screaming message on his answering machine!
I am a kind person, a nice person, but geesh, without the SSRIs (or perhaps from the withdrawal), I can turn back into a PMS screaming lunatic whenever frustration provokdes me. Hubby understands and is trying to tolerate it because he really loves me, but heck, he's on Celexa to mellow HIM out!
I'm scared, who is this person that can't control her temper? Does this mean I'm latently MANIC? Have I been manic all my life but didn't know it? When you have a temper like this, to the point of throwing things and screaming when you're frustrated (usually takes about 3 things in a row frustrating me within l/2 an hour, then the final blow sets me off!) I'm like dynamite.
Don't know if this is SSRI w/d, or the real me. I don't know what to take for it except the benzos (valium makes me tired, and ativan is short-acting). I'm on Neurontin 2x/day (300 mg in a.m., again in p.m.) Again, I'm scared, and I dont want to hurt the people around me with my horrible, horrible snapouts. My pdoc has wanted me on much higher (therapeutic) levels of Neurontin, but I'm scared to take more than 600mg total per day . . . he wanted me to take it for anxiety. I just don't know what to do, and when many of you talk about natural supplements, I get ADDish, I need to know EXACTLY what to take, brand, amount, etc., otherwise I just go back to square one.
poster:Keko
thread:413290
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041108/msgs/413290.html