Posted by Optimist on October 2, 2004, at 13:01:45
In reply to Re: coffee helps, where do I go from here? » Optimist, posted by iris2 on October 1, 2004, at 9:56:03
Thanks Iris for the feedback. I was in a bit of a hurry when I sent my last post so it may have not been as easy to understand as I'd hoped.
My pain problem is more so with staying on task with motivation, concentration, and energy for a sustained period of time. I've had problems with lethargy for quite awhile... the last 8 years or so. I'm 27 now, and was introduced to coffee/caffiene at around 22. It did provide me with something I felt I had been missing for a long time. Namely cognitive improvement, motivation, and energy.
Yes I do exercise. It's been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. My nutrition and exercise are among my top priorities in life and always attend to those before spending money/time on other things which may be of more entertainment value. The exercise is therapeutic in a way in that I find it gives me a lot of benefits in terms of energy and mood. I've always been a great athlete and participating in sports, gives me a sense of happiness/accomplishment. A hobby of sorts. The time spent is nothing extreme though, around an hour and a half 3 times a week.
The main problem now which I eluded to before is the moodiness and energy fluctuations which is mainly cause by the caffiene. I am not surprised by this, but I find it hard to live without, since when I am on nothing I feel like a lump of coal anyways. I would rather feel good part of the time, rather than bad all of the time.
I went to my pdoc yesterday and got a script for Adderall. The doctor suggestioned that since it has a much longer halflife than caffiene that it may prove to be more beneficial. Yes, it may seem like patchwork using a stimulant... I'm trying to make informed decisions on future treatment with the help of my pdoc. I know there are many other drugs, i.e. provigil, mirapex, selegiline, etc... that work on the same NT's, so I do have an open mind on the treatment options on the future as well.
I am reacting quite well to the wellbutrin that I have been on the last few months. I have responded well to a dopamine agonist in the past as well (Vitex). It seems my main issues lie upon the norepinephrine and dopamine pathways.
I have sometimes wondered whether I may have partial bipolar symptoms. I do seem to fit some of the criterion although I don't think I'm a very good fit with respect to others. I've never had a problem with sleep for as long as I remember, and I know that sleep disturbances is one of the first indicators of bipolar. There does seem to be a yearly cycle to my depressions though. Winter and summer I tend to get depressed, while spring and fall I tend to feel better. The fluctations seem to make it hard for me to track whether I have mostly biological or cognitive problems leading to my depressions. I think that both may contribute. Both bipolar and depression runs in my family.
I don't think that I have ADD in particular. It's really hard to say. I took 20mg adderall for the first time this morning and this post seems to be the longest and quickest that I have wrote in a long time. It seems to be helping quite well in that regard. Time will tell if it is a better alternative to what I've been doing before.
As I've eluded to before, I pretty much feel perfect lately when the caffiene kicks in. The lack of sustaining that feeling is mainly the problem now. I am not suffering from any depressive symptoms which is very promising.
My apathy with regards to find a job and that I don't seem to care too much, I think is somewhat St. John's Wort induced. I definitely didnt' feel that way before. I had more of the ambition characteristics without the energy to fulfil my ideas. A lot of worry and guilt perhaps in regards to my inergic depression as well. Now some of my ambition seems to be sapped away, so that I am more happy doing nothing which isn't that productive either.
I know that I have some problems with decision making abilities which may have been contributed to by the caffiene use. With such fluctuations of energy, cognitive ability, and motivation throughout the day it makes it hard to stick to one goal. My decision making abilities is the major obstacle in me finding a job now. I have problems sticking to one idea and running with it. Kind of a analysis paralysis thing going on.
Well, we'll see how the adderall thing works out. Hopefully the adderall will give me more tools to work with here. Perhaps better concentration to help with my decisions... time will tell.
poster:Optimist
thread:394906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041002/msgs/398279.html