Posted by Questionmark on September 23, 2004, at 2:25:07
In reply to To Everyone (And those trading SSRI for Welbutrin), posted by robot on September 22, 2004, at 2:39:44
i just had to say that i can identify with these well-written words so much.
> "i dont even want to be here, you know? Posting to this board is an act with all these associations--of being depressed, of endless theorizing what is wrong what might work etc. Im sick of all of it."
>"With my ability to enjoy things I planned on going to see my favorite band this coming weekend. NOw its just a slap in the face to me. I could drive all the way there and sit there and watch them play and TRY, for 2 hours, to enjoy it. That doesnt make any sense. "Try to enjoy." Im not ever going to try to enjoy again--it just makes it worse. If youre enjoying it has nothing to do with trying. Ive tried rnning, meditation, positve thinking...no mental effort EVER has helped. The best I can do is keep reminding myself that its not my fault, remembering that its always the good feelings that come first then I begin to be active and productive again--the good feelings do not go away because IM not trying hard enough. Its the opposite.
People who have never experienced depression can never have the understanding of the world that we do. This makes me feel somewhat special but its not worth it, is it? And I see people who are able to enjoy everyday things and live in freedom--and they waste it ... doing nothing, just talking. They dont know how lucky they are! They just dont understand. If had the normalcy they have I would be taking over the world with my energy--which is what I began to do when I started feeling good!"
poster:Questionmark
thread:393562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040921/msgs/393986.html