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Re: new hubby into pills, alcohol, MJ and VIAGRA

Posted by Wildman on July 21, 2004, at 15:56:05

In reply to new hubby into pills, alcohol, MJ and VIAGRA, posted by retrojen on July 21, 2004, at 15:04:37

Hang on to the "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" part of your vows as this is what they were talking about.

Give him a bit of time to let your suggestion "bake into his head". It may be a bit overwhelming to have his habits taken away from him all at once, I know I resisted.

I did voluntarily abstain from everything for 3 weeks and let my meds do their thing and it helped me to gain perspective. I am now allowing myself to drink a bit of beer and wine, and smoke weed on occasion, so I don't have to give up those things completely. Just not in the amounts and frequency as before. It's wierd though, in that I don't crave all that stuff like I used to.

I drank and smoked daily for about 20 years and am actually relieved to find that I CAN moderate my usage of these things. Partially, I think, because I don't get the same buzz off of them that I used to - so what's the point?

Now that I take the Seroquel with the Lexapro, I don't find that I need the Ativan, I'm much more balanced. I get to sleep fine at night now (used to smoke before retiring for the evening) and I'm not experiencing any weight gain (in fact, now that I drink less, I'm losing a bit of my beer belly).

I don't have any experience with Viagra, so I can't comment on that.

Give your husband a chance to let this soak in a bit for him. He's probably been self-medicating for years and it's not working anymore. I can deal with the fact that I'm mild BP2 because I have medication THAT REALLY HELPS ME. It's much less scary when you know that TRUE RELIEF is possible. My anger, anxiety, restlessness, distractibility have all gotten better.

I believe he may be more receptive to exploring the BP2 if he know that he can:

1. actually get relief from medications
2. still be able to drink occasionally
3. still be able to smoke weed occasionally
4. won't feel the need to take the Ativan nearly as much. if you don't need it anymore, then not having it around isn't such a problem. besides, I do take the occasional 1/2 tab of Seroquel when I get hypomanic. It's nice to know you have something available for those times.

His entire lifestyle doesn't not have to change overnight, but if he decides to see a pdoc and meds are prescribed he may not feel the need to keep doing all these things and sneaking around.

I hope this helps you. Please hang in there and give this man the help he is desperate for. If ultimately it can't be turned around, at least you know you gave it your best. You aren't his mother or shrink, but you are his partner and you guys CAN GET THROUGH THIS with your relationship intact. I am walking proof that this can be done.

All the best,





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