Posted by Atticus on July 16, 2004, at 21:14:23
In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book » lorily, posted by corafree on July 16, 2004, at 16:02:54
corafree,
The kind of cat-and-mouse game you describe with your pdoc -- where you're trying to be emotionally open yet fearful of what kind of consequences or misinterpretations this may result in -- is so frustratingly familiar. Even after eight years, I still haven't figured out how to tread this tightrope. On the one hand, I'm thinking that holding back means I'm not getting the full benefit out of the therapy. On the other hand, I've become increasingly guarded about what comes out of my mouth because, as you say, I don't want to inadvertantly raise any red flags that aren't really germane to what I'm trying to communicate about my condition. This paradox makes the whole process seem so counterproductive sometimes. Often, on the drive over to the pdoc's office, I even find myself rehearsing justifications for things, such as why I don't feel comfortable lowering my benzos at this point, just in case it comes up. But even when I do ridiculous stuff like this, the sessions still strike me as kind of a rigged game. My pdoc's mind is (presumably) clear. The biochemistry in my brain needs a pharmaceutical cocktail just to maintain anything resembling clarity. Even with the Effexor, which makes me feel sharper mentally than I have in about 10 years, it's still easy to feel overmatched and just give in to whatever he's saying about me. Have other people come up with strategies to navigate this dilemma better than I do? Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040714/msgs/367015.html