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Re: bipolar or not (long) » bark2323

Posted by B2chica on March 7, 2004, at 17:12:27

In reply to Re: bipolar or not (long), posted by bark2323 on March 7, 2004, at 16:26:57

ok matt, you're freaking me out a bit. i swear you are taking words from my mouth.
>How do you know if your treatment is helping or >hurting you?
this is Exactly what i've been asking myself and plan to ask pdoc.
>How do you know where you end and 'it' begins?
i've been struggling with this too but i did find a few nice quotes that have helped me decide:
"Bipolar disorder is living with a mind you can't trust. What a clinician calls 'moodswings' are, to us, changes in who we are. They occur without reason or notice and are completely outside our control."
My biggest fear is to have my thoughts and feelings invalidated because of a label. you know "oh she's just being manic don't listen to what she says."etc...etc.. (second biggest fear is being hospitalized...i've had nightmares for years about this- still not sure if i can stand to see gothica...
I agree with the hypo, most descriptions make it sound pleasureable, it would be if it didn't include a rage that would turn ghandi into ted bundy. I feel some paranoia but it's mostly that i think everyone is talking about me behind my back, i know it's not real so i try not to act on it. Also the hypo can get to the point that i can't complete anything at work (start lots though), and then the confusion sets in cuz stuff goes so fast, then frustration cuz everyone is so freaking Slow!

>But now I feel fine and it is tempting to believe >"it was all a fluke" regardless of how foolish I >know that sounds.
Oh my God, this is Exactly how i feel!!! My words Exactly...a fluke...

>I will bring questions to my doc (also on wed)
are you kidding me???

i've always felt there are two of me, i analyze and overanalyze Everything. I can be quite "clinical" about things mostly cuz the otherside of me lives on emotion, i'm either too empathic which brings on depression so i shut that side off and become clinical to understand (almost like it was someone else that i'm advocating for).
And do agree with the "all in head" issue. My husband though still denies there's anything wrong, has been a little more sensitive and watching me lately-i've been pretty down (this morning really sucked, constant S.ideation) but i think he just needs time.

-BTW did i mention i'm ADHD/Bp2 -hence the name;^) incase i already did tell you...that's the adhd talking...CRS!
B2c.


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poster:B2chica thread:321606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040304/msgs/321704.html