Posted by Ilene on February 12, 2004, at 14:04:30
In reply to Re: Bi-polar. Is there nothing I can do? » Parisss, posted by holymama on February 12, 2004, at 10:00:45
> Dear Parisss,
>
> I am so sorry to hear about your kids' struggles. It breaks my heart to hear it. I can imagine myself in your position some day. It's a shame that your daughter had a therapist who told her she is 'bipolar by example'. I have never heard of such a diagnosis. Therapists have such a strong influence on their patients -- they really need to be careful about what they say or they can easily cause someone more troubles. Though it sounds like your daughter is in denial about her responsiblity as well.
>
> I'm glad to hear some positive feedback on my awareness of my daughter's potential for illness. I hate to sound like I am already diagnosing her in my mind, and I certainly am not a fan of doctors who diagnose and medicate young children unless there is a major problem. But I do feel like I am miles ahead of my own mother, who to this day agrees that she had no consciousness of my struggles or how to help me with them. She agrees that I have always had these problems as long as she can remember, and she didn't help me to deal with them. That is what I am trying to do for my daughter so that she never gets to the non-functioning point that I reached in my late 20s.
This is a big problem for me, too, although I think if I had been medicated when I was young I might not have had the problems I have now. I've read there's evidence that early intervention can help things down the road. The theory is called "kindling"--the more episodes of bipolar or depression you have, the more you are likely to have, so if you can nip it in the bud...I really hate the thought of passing this disease (or set of diseases) to my kids. I have symptoms of atypical major depression, but my family history makes me wonder if maybe I'm a "soft" bipolar.
My mother was certainly into denial as a life management technique. Now I realize she had an anxiety disorder and may have been depressed. My aunt (her sister) had a MDD, and one of her sons (my cousin) probably has a personality disorder. One of my mother's cousins (a second cousin, maybe) committed suicide. My son is being evaluated for ADD.
Unconsciousness is pretty common. Being depressed is often being in denial. I'm sure many of us have experienced the feeling of being defective human beings, but not wanting to admit being mentally ill. When I was younger, especially, I was so incredibly irritable that I never felt I fit into the world. Everyone and everything rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know what would have helped.
What hurt me was being criticized and punished for things that were entirely beyond my control, like my "lack of motivation" and my school failures.
And another thing--I was sent by my parents, or saw on my own, several psychiatrists and counselors. *Not a single one diagnosed my depression.* NOT A SINGLE ONE. It was only when I read a description of the physical sensation of depression (being under water, or trapped behind glass) that I self-diagnosed and called a psychiatrist I found in the yellow pages. I was in my mid-30s. I got lucky, because I got an AD that worked, for a while.
I also self-diagnosed my GAD. Again, NO ONE RECOGNIZED IT, and it's so obvious in retrospect.
I'm trying to maintain good relationships with my kids, but I'm not the best-functioning adult in the world. I don't know how to talk to them about how they feel. It's so frightening to me.
I.
poster:Ilene
thread:310410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040210/msgs/312482.html