Posted by Lars on January 28, 2004, at 14:43:47
Well, before Thanksgiving I got the flu and was sick for about 7 days. I experienced a couple depersonalization or anxiety attacks during this time. My life was changing because I was about to start A new job dealing with graphic design. By the way I am 28. I had drank on weekends for about 7 years and never woke up before 10 besides maybe once a week for certain early classes. I was also going to bed at 1 or 2 a.m. for these previous 7 years. I was very anxious about my new job, not sleeping and trying to prepare myself by changing my sleeping patterns for this 8 to 5 job. I was having trouble but was getting a little use to it. My problem at this point was simply feeling depersonalization and extreme anxiety the whole time at my new job, feeling like I wasn't even me. Outer body like on top of changing sleep and still coming off the flu.
At this point I was simply a zombie showing up for week only because I had to. I was scared because I literally felt like someone else. I was sure I was dieing or going crazy. I couldn't shake it. I made my room my home base. If I left my room I felt like someone else.
I was confused and lost and simply didn't know what was happening. Christmas and New Years passed, but I really don't remember much because I felt extreme anxious having more depersonaliztion. Shortly after I got the flu again but this time with a temperature of 102 for 5 days. The fever and being really sick made me worse. I felt like this was it and was prepared to die because I felt that bad. I felt like I was out of my body and the environment was controlling me. I used certain TV shows and different repeating habits to help feel like me. I was really losing it I thought. I had an MRI of the head and neck because I thought something was wrong. I also had blood work done. Everything was negative.I didn't know what to do. My doctor prescribed Paxil and I took that for 4 days only to get worse and sink more into a depression and losing more of my identity. I was so scared. He then tried selexa and that even made me worse, sufferering from weird feelings in my head and severe tremors or seizure like activity. One night it was so bad, I almost went to the emergency room. I woke up the next morning feeling like my identity was erased. I had all of the information and memories but I didn't feel like me. I felt empty, no feeling or just brain dead.
I then went to a neuologist and he is now trying Zyprexa. I have taken 2 mg each night for 5 nights and it is really screwing me up. I wake up at night feeling numb in my mind and really emotionless and lost. I know who I am but I don't feel normal. It is hard to explain. I don't think the Zyprexa is doing any good except cutting the nervousness a little. What should I do? I feel like I am dieing and can' t explain what I have gone through. I have never been so scared in my life. I need some advice.
Thank you, Matt
poster:Lars
thread:306501
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040127/msgs/306501.html