Posted by zeugma on January 23, 2004, at 23:30:59
In reply to When do you decide to go to the hospital?, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 23, 2004, at 22:47:11
Well when I was hospitalized at 21 I was severely depressed, thinking about suicide a lot, unable to function in the outside world (i.e. hold a job) and considered alternately "lazy" (for not being able to work) and 'crazy" (for fighting with them over this issue and saying things like 'I wish I were dead right now'). Yes, and I was writing a lot of poetry, having dreadful spells of insomnia, and feeling a sense of total alienation.
The hospital was a safe place where razors were kept in a locked closet (I was thinking about slashing myself with a razor a lot, so I apppreciated this). I found some people I could relate to, much more than I've ever been able to find in the outside world. in a way i loved the place. But this was the late '80's when insurance plans were more generous and it wasn't unheard of for months to pass in a hospital.
I considered hospitalizing myself about four months ago while working with a CBT therapist.This, obviously, is not a testament to the effectiveness of CBT, at least not in my case.
Now, I'm depressed again, and up too late, and writing poetry, so who knows what will happen.
poster:zeugma
thread:304860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040122/msgs/304872.html