Posted by KellyD on December 26, 2003, at 0:02:03
In reply to Re: clonazepam concerns, posted by zeugma on December 25, 2003, at 23:29:19
thank you so much for your post, Kelly. I have been having a rough day....I felt a strong need to isolate myself after a hectic week: a friend's birthday, several holiday parties, NOT the easiest thing for someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder to cope with. Then there's another weakness of mine: I ate tons of chocolate over the past 2 days, partly induced to do so by nerves: the upshot has been a tension headache and queasiness. I took .125 this morning and about half an hour ago took another quarter pill. I was able to eat a PBJ after that and feel a little better.
~~~Sometimes that isolation thing is pretty normal. When I'm just overwhelmed, I do the same. In regard to the chocolate, I so relate... tons and tons of late and my body is letting me know it, too. I'm sorry things have been rough.~~~
As i said before, K is remarkably effective for social anxiety. I actually had little anxiety during the most stress-provoking episode, the aforementioned friend's b'day where there were some people I hadn't seen in a long time: I was able to relax and socialize in a way I never was able to before, despite the fact that I've been completely avoiding alcohol. What actually makes me nervous is not the social contact itself, but the conflict with my desire to AVOID others as much as possible. I was so hopeful that the clonazepam would help with this avoidance, that I could finally try to date a girl without getting an anxiety attack, not to mention hold down a job that requires a lot of social contact (I've been fired from many jobs in the past, because of inability to deal with people, and I was determined not to let it happen this time: so far it hasn't!).
~~~ I can understand conflict a bit as you describe it. I was a social, social being and I'm not sure I will ever be as I was before the issues with excess, toxic anxiey... but for me, I'm not so sure I want to return to the level I was. It's strange and hard to describe, but this feels more like "me", the before felt strained and pushed. As far as your interactions, you will get to where you want to be. ~~~
I'm hoping the depression and fatigue is due to the stress of the holiday season and the fact that I've had time on my hands to worry about everything.
~~~ Very likely things will improve as we get back to our routines and get this "joyful" time past us. I know I will, although, this was one of the better times in comparision to the past few years. Last year was one of the times I had tried to discontinue the K (wasn't THAT stupid, at the holidays??) I tried to tough it out, but it was horrible. This year, MUCH better. I finally realized I was getting in my own way of getting better by not using a treatment that works for me... it was a BIG step and I'm rather proud of finally figuring it out.~~~~
~~~ Again, Best,
Kelly
poster:KellyD
thread:293164
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/293449.html