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a recovering flibbertigibbet Dalilah

Posted by katia on November 10, 2003, at 14:49:17

In reply to Re: Dalilah: Lamictal side effects, posted by Dalilah on November 10, 2003, at 11:32:13

> Oh no, I've been depressed a lot of my life. That was just my first 12-month depression (very scary.) It's so hard to determine my past ups and downs cause I didn't get diagnosed with the bipolar til 32. I'm 35. Now I have to re-examine my whole life in terms of manic/depression, so it's hard to say.


**Hi Dalilah, I'm 33 yrs. old and just got dxed as BPII when I was ending my 32nd year - just months ago. During last year, I was on different ADs thinking i was only unidepressed. But now I know. It's very bizarre isn't it to have to reflect back on your life through a different lens (re-examine as you say). For me it's positive and negative. one, it brings a sigh of relief - like "oh! no wonder! it all makes sense now". and the other side, geezzzz, what was me and what was bipolar? And who am I by the way?!
It's a discombobulating time, but also a time for clarity.
That's great that you were able to accomplish so much and be productive. For me, it's just been crazy - tons of jobs, tons of lovers/boyfriends, lived in about five different countries. Everything just felt chaotic. So I don't really have any skills. well, I'm almost finished with grad school in psychology (yes how funny), so that will be my new career and my first real career. I'm kinda like a jack of all trades with no expertise anywhere. But I'm still young. Still time for career, partner/husband (same person :-) ,and children.
I'm only at 100mg of Lamictal and with the increase of the dose from 50mg, I feel so much better. I just got off of Depakote due to the Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome danger. And I was still looping and rapid cycling on it. So the next augment will be lithium if we need to go there. I'm worried a bit about the irritability with Lam. as that's been my main trait of hypomania anyway. Very rarely have I experienced the productive euphoric aspect of "mania" like you did, unfortunately. I've had more of a very fiery, wild temperment - lots of fights with boyfriends etc. quitting jobs, blah blah blah
Have you experienced any insomnia from Lamictal?
>>Of course cocaine made me feel good, but also quite horrible. In my daily life I was incredibly productive, I mean more than the average person. I had several business, completed college with honors, made an endless, amount of art, (all at the same time) and slept very little - in general. I never stopped. It was impressive, but ultimately took it's toll. It's quite possible I experienced a lot of mixed states.

**Wow. How long did that go on for - the little sleeping and never stopping? I think some people level out and have a general up or general down. I've definitely been down as my normal way of being, with brief periods of hypo and mixed.

> Now I must (when feeling good) force my sleep, not overwork, try to be normal. Cause too much up leads to down (and that's intolerable.)

** yeah, that is hard. I'm learning also not to take on too much and just focus on what I've already gotten started. That's been hard. How do you force yourself to sleep? I have to take something if I'm too up.

> I too experience good feelings when I up the Lam but it doesn't necessarily go away, maybe just evens out. How much Lam do you take (150?), cause I'm serious, it didn't help me til 200mg.

**that's good to hear.
take care,
Katia
p.s. I was looking up a word in the dictionary to check for spelling and I immediately opened to flibbertigibbet - a flighty chattering person.....


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poster:katia thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031105/msgs/278261.html