Posted by bertie on October 28, 2003, at 10:14:09
In reply to Re: PTSD and drug withdrawals » bertie, posted by Sebastian on October 23, 2003, at 12:32:26
I understand your feeling raped of your sanity. Must confess that the last couple of months, I've felt more violated in my mind than I felt violated in body when I was raped, and that's not an insignificant thing. It was at a bus stop, in Hawaii. No, for a long time I couldn't go out in public without having panic attacks, and my relationships with men have pretty much sucked across the board ever since. But I thought I was past all that until recently. Mental illness is still so misunderstood, especially when it is thrust upon us by circumstances beyond our control, like trauma. At least we won't be subjected to electric shock therapy and torture based institutions, but I feel like my friends and family just think I'm fundamentally flawed now. I didn't ask for any of this, and I imagine they'd be more sympathetic if I had cancer or diabetes or something. I don't know why a dysfunctional mind engenders less empathy than a dysfunctional body, but it does, it seems. I believe that being violated in a gay way, if you didn't really want to, is every bit as much rape as any other kind of date rape type scenario. It's so NOT black and white, there are so many forms of threat, fear, intimidation. You don't have to have a knife to your throat to fear for your life, or your loved ones, if you don't cooperate. And as for being run out of your hometown... what can I say.... people will believe what they want to believe, and I guess we can't change them, we can only change ourselves. And on that note, I encourage you again to seek out EMDR therapy, because the cycle of increasing dosages and increasing risk of something like what I experienced happening is just too great to trust in medication for long. Take care, Sebastian, I mean, REALLY take care (of yourself).
poster:bertie
thread:269444
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031025/msgs/274258.html