Posted by galkeepinon on October 21, 2003, at 3:15:13
In reply to help, posted by 1313 on October 21, 2003, at 1:31:31
I've got to get some sleep~getting up early to get my teeth cleaned tomorrow. LOL
But, I'll leave you with these thoughts:-Are you sure you lost *all* of your friends?
-Have you told your friends how you feel about what they 'think' about you?
-Have you told them about how you feel that they 'act different around you'?
-Do *you* think you are 'mean and thoughtless and deliberate?
(According to Merriam-Webster, *as an adjective* deliberate is defined as:
'characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration', *as a verb*: 'to think about or discuss issues and decisions carefully'
Some *synonyms* are: advised, aforethought, considered, designed, premeditated, prepense, studied, studious, thought-out, careful, happy-go-lucky.
Seem like positive words to *me*, I guess it just depends on how one perceives them.
You can only *do* or *say* so much, and decide if those friends are true friends. Remember, you can't *make* anyone like you. If you went into a 9 person business meeting and had a black suit on, the chances would be that 3 would like you just for you, 3 would just not like you because say, you were wearing a 'black' suit, and the other 3 would just despise you~period~no matter what! Try not to let that change *you*
Life IS about change and maybe there are new friends for you in your world.
So, you have schizophrenia. ok. 'Losing touch with one's real feelings' is a characteristic of schizophrenia, give yourself a break:-)The past. It's done. It's unchangeable.
-What can *you* do to get back your self-respect?
-Can you look into the mirror and say 'here I am, I accept me for who I am, *right now*' I know you can do that;-)
It's always possible to be a good *citizen* again.
Can you find someone, anyone, you can trust to talk to who *won't* make your situation worse?
You're right, in a way, that medication can only *do* so much. When you've exhalted all other measures with medication, it may be time to work through your feelings. (BTW, it took me 8 years to figure that one out)
You deserve a chance, you deserve respect, if others don't believe you, with ALL due respect, that is *their* 'baggage'. Remember though, they have that right, they choose for themselves.
You can retain your goals, if you *choose* to.
Maybe you need a change?
'Society' places a lot of expectations on us, but by no means does that mean we have to accept them.
Maybe you *are* at 'square one', but is that ALL *bad*?
After all, it gives *you* a chance to start fresh, new views, new attitude, and hopefully new dreams/goals or to revisit the old ones before you went into the hospital with a different outlook.
Let up on yourself a little. It's OK to not know what you want, it's OK to question where you are going wrong.(if you even are)
Been there done that...This is just *me*, but lately, I have had to really confront some of my 'friends' about what was going on with me and with our friendship. *I* found it a good thing to do for not only me, but also for my friends. It not only cleared the air, but it also gave me a chance to step back where needed, learn, and move on. It turned out to be a good thing, maybe not easy, but good nonetheless.
Hang in there, one day at a time...
> I need someone to talk to! I have discovered that I have lost all of my friends because they think I am mean and thoughtless and worst of all deliberate. They seem to pretend nothing is wrong but I know that is not true because they act different around me!!! I wish I knew how to have them like me again but I am afraid they never will:( I do not know why I acted so poorly except to say that I have schizophrenia and I lost touch with my real feelings. I do NOT expect them to ever tell me who said what or why. I just want back my self-respect. I want to be able to look myself in the mirror again. I just want to be a good citizen if this is still possible. I cannot discuss this with anyone because all they will do is make the situation worse. This cannot be medicated away (I already tried that)(3times)I am finding it very hard to believe that anything that happens to me is real or that I even deserve to be believed about anything!!I had many goals when I left the hospital and they are all gone because I can no longer function the way society wants and I am not sure I know what I want....I am not suicidal I just need some advice on where I am going wrong....I just came out of 4 months in the hospital and I find I am back at square one please advise.....
poster:galkeepinon
thread:271335
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031015/msgs/271351.html