Posted by genebujold on October 11, 2003, at 21:51:07
In reply to Re: All seriousness aside.......Caution Advised, posted by yabba on October 11, 2003, at 0:31:55
You're right, there is a reason for an increase in crime. It's a distinct lack of fathers.
Prison polls reveal time and again that only about 3% of all prisoners had what they considered a "good relationship" with their fathers, compared to about 35% of the general population at large.
There's another very direct correlation between the divorce rate (with the overwhelming majority of kids going with their mothers) and crime later on.
"Problem kids" usually have one or more of the following factors in their lives:
1. Absent fathers (either divorce or workaholics)
2. Family strife (lots of arguing or worse)
etc.
Now - is this to say that mothers don't provide what kids need?
By no means! Kids need moms and the special relations moms can give them so they can relate healthily and emotionally with others in society. Poor emotional relations also tend to produce problem kids, although these kids are usually limited to those who withdraw from society.
Bottom line - kids need BOTH parents. Period. If you're a father and your kids don't have a substantial mother presence, learn to relate, and make sure you spend both quality and quantity time with your kids. Get into their world. If you're a mother and your kids don't have a substantial father presence, learn to instill both discipline and loving guidance, and don't let your kids say otherwise!
Even if you're happily married, fathers can learn to become more maternal, and mothers can learn to become more paternal. As Doc said, "It's your kids, Marty! We've got to do something about your kids!"
The best way you can do that is NOT to work better to provide for them materially, but to work harder, with them, to provide for them relationally and spirtually, empowering them to be all they can be.
poster:genebujold
thread:54234
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031010/msgs/268486.html