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Re: Anxiety girl

Posted by Ilene on July 9, 2003, at 11:57:53

In reply to Anxiety, posted by girl on July 9, 2003, at 9:29:51

> My anxiety attacks are pretty often. It could be triggered by anything. A looming deadline (I'm a writer)

How do you manage that? I was a writer for a while. I ended up being so frozen that everything I wrote was like a first-grade reader.

or money or just simply being alone. I've taken to Tylenol PM and Simply Sleep to get me through nights sometimes.

I have a sleep disorder and I use a "big light" (what people use for SAD) to keep my circadian rhythms under control (sort of), provigil to be awake during the day, and neurontin before I go to sleep. It works most of the time. *Much* better than the intense insomnia I used to have. (I hate lying awake.) Wouldn't hurt to try the light, if not the drugs.

Right now I prefer being alone, but I have a family. I feel like the maid (cook, clean), plus I feel completely inadequate and that I am dragging them down. At least when I am alone there is no one watching my misery.

(Why would anyone want to "feel my pain"?)

But I am sick and tired of being afraid and panicking at nothing.
> I'm one of the luckier people. I don't really have to work and I don't have to worry about money, but here I am worrying and filled with anxiety. It makes no sense.

Of course it makes no sense! I feel worse realizing it makes no sense. On the other hand, is there any reason why it should?

I just inherited some money, but I don't feel much better. Now I worry about the money. I worry about the birds outside my window. I worry about driving. I worry about my body--I feel like it's gradually seizing up.

I know I don't have to worry and still I'm scared stiff. I'm on Prozac, Risperdal, Rivotril, Stilnox and for a time a bit Epival. I even tried Valium but that got me nowhere. I feel like a drug cocktail. Can someone offer some advice?

Not really. I've never heard of most of those drugs. Clonazepam (klonopin) helps a little.

I too feel like an animated pillbox. I wonder if some of the my difficulties are caused by the drugs.

Positive experiences fill me with dread. I know everything is distorted, but that just makes it worse, because the "insight" doesn't help at all. I just feel more inadequate.

Sometimes I can keep the extreme anxiety a few inches away for a few minutes, but the effort is as intense as the anxiety. Sometimes I can distract myself with reading, but the distraction is only temporary.

My neck and shoulder muscles are constantly contracted. A deep enough massage to loosen them leaves me with bruises. When I had physical therapy I had to take ibuprofen (advil or motrin) before I went in, and had to be iced for 10 minutes afterwards.

I hate the effort of constantly reminding myself to relax. Tension keeps me from collapsing into tears. Relaxation exercises give me time to ruminate. I took yoga classes for a couple of years, but then one day I just couldn't be around all those people.




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