Posted by zinya on June 10, 2003, at 18:48:12
In reply to Re: Off Effexor - Day 2 and carpal tunnel » zinya, posted by CherC68 on June 10, 2003, at 10:38:40
hi Cher,
your optimism is nice to hear. I've always been an optimist/idealist except for these times when i've gotten to a point where i wound up trying an anti-dep, but none of those times lasting quite as long or being quite as profound as this one. Surely cuz the loss and grief has left me kind of defenseless this time against it. Losing my mom, who I'd bought this house for, the sole reason being to care for her as I wanted to do and thinking she'd have five years or so when in fact she only had five months, with doctors assuring me the house and moving her to live with me sounded wise even while they were obliviously failing to take the one test that should have been taken and would have at least let me make informed decisions, given that she already had full-blown ovarian cancer that no one had diagnosed despite her months of pain and taking her to 5 different docs. Because of her Alzheimer's, she couldn't describe the symptoms for them directly and despite all my insistence, they took her pains too lightly -- falsely assured me it couldn't be cancer or she'd be feeling more pain (oblivious to how Alzheimer's interferes with pain memory or perception) -- and insisted things that are just laughable, if only there was anything to laugh about -- that it was gas or irritable bowel or some other dismissive diagnosis... They checked for ulcers and kidney stones but that was it, even one night when she wound up in the ER in crisis...
Well, i don't mean to go into long saga here, but she was my hedge against depression, it seems, and now it's rather paralyzing. I can't seem to get out of a hole which has been a downhill slide these past 10 months, to the point that i had to consider the need for something as 'interventionist' as this effexor route.
If you feel inspired to keep writing here, that'd be great... Hoping you're having a better day!
hugs,
zinya
poster:zinya
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030609/msgs/232999.html