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Re: PDoc still wants me on an ADD drug

Posted by ladylight57 on June 8, 2003, at 8:20:15

In reply to PDoc still wants me on an ADD drug, posted by bookgurl99 on June 4, 2003, at 16:54:06

Books,

I'm so glad you posted this. I've been struggling with this whole ADD issue for a few years and am now on the threshold of doing something about it. I understand how you want to make this happen without medication. I've been wanting to make things happen in my life too, but at 46, I'll be damned if I'm not running out of time!!

About 5 years ago, when I was trying to make a move from my current postion at work from clinical to administrative, I couldn't do it. The detail oriented paperwork and the multi-tasking that it required was too much for me. It sent me tailspinning into the the worst depression I've ever experienced.

One of the things I did, to try to make myself feel better, was to visit a Psychologist and take some tests for Adult ADD. I took one question and answer test(long!) and two others that involved making decisions and responding to orders while dealing with a blinking light.......sorry I can't be more specific, but it's been a while.

I tested out positive for ADD, but wasn't ready to accept the lable or to take medication for it so I let it go.

I started on Effexor XR for my depression and it was wonderful, lifting my depression, reducing my social anxiety and giving me a peace and confidence level I'd never experienced. However, as time went by and my dose went up, my inability to focus became increasingly pronounced. I had frequent mistakes at work, could no longer perform complicated tasks. My home was falling apart. I wasn't getting the bills paid on time or the house clean, as sometimes it just seemed the tasks involved were too overwhelming.

I was in awe of the fact that I didn't feel emotionally depressed, and yet seemed to be physically depressed with low energy, lack of motivation, inability to concentrate, etc.

Finally the frustrations of this became so overwhelming that I worked my way off of the effexor, through a couple of p-docs and finally into the office of the P-doc who is currently helping me to come to Terms with all of this. She's actually not a P-doc, she's a Psychologist with a Phd. in something or other (I can't remember.....big surprise!)

I am so excited about possibly getting help for this condition. My life is a string of unreached potentialities (can there be such a thing?) and broken commitments. To date my greatest accomplishments are having given birth to and raising two children and having a marriage that has lasted 20 years...other than that, I have no long term accomplishments or been able to finish anything I've ever started. Like college for instance, which I have returned to 3 times over, recieving excellent grades, but being unable to juggle classes, work and home life.

Right now I have a home based business I started a year ago that is falling apart because I can't do the paperwork nor juggle the elements involved to keep it going....yet another failure.

So I'm ready to get some help. My Dr. gave me the first real ray of hope at our last meeting. When I indicated yet again that the Effexor had made my focus worse, she agreed saying that there was research that supported this and next visit she would show me brain scans to illustrate. She was the 3rd Doc I'd been to and the first one to agree and support my claim. Finally. It is such relief. She's been data gathering for the past month, interviewing me, my husband and giving me a personality test of some sort. She says my life sounds like I've been suffering with ADD and that depression is part of that, for obvious reasons. The anti-depressents exaggerate this by increasing activity in one area of the brain and decreasing it in others. We ran out of time and I have a million questions for her.

So anyway, I know this turned out terribly long, but thanks for this post, It's nice to know there are other out there like me and that there is help and hope. I understand your ambivilence about medication, as I have struggled with it myself....but I'm tired and running out of time..so get tested and don't wait too long
ladylight


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