Posted by lillabelle on May 31, 2003, at 1:51:56
In reply to Re: Running out of med options... » SLS, posted by jemma on May 30, 2003, at 11:51:26
It's so informative and helpful to follow these threads. As I currently reside in the Persian Gulf (I'm Canadaian; an expat) I have zero support. There are no pdocs here worth 10 minutes of your time. No only are they in the dark ages but they're totally unsympathetic. It's a cultural and educational thing, so be it. The upshot is that I've had to help myslf. This board (and I've used it over many years) is a life saver.To keep it short I will summarize my unfortunate situation. Years and years ago at age 21 I became very depressed. I saw a GP (quack) who put me on nardil. She perscribed 60- 120mg. Before I knew it I was flying in full-blown mania. She perscribed halcion to get me to sleep at night. I had no idea I was bipolar. Never really heard of it. My doc told me to keep on the nardil, I felt euphoric so I certainly did. She saw me every two months or so and loaded me up on pills each time. After two years of this wild, wild, ride and I know I was in trouble. No apt, no job and barely the person I once was. The pdoc told me to keep on the pills or I would have a nervous breakdown. She didn't even suggest lowering the dose. At his time I knew nothing about fine tuning meds etc. I went off the nardil fell into a miserable depression and swore off antdepressants.
Several months later I tried the nardil again out of desperation, but alas the effect was gone. Basically I felt nothing. A year after that a doctor put me on ritalin. A horrible reaction, nervous, uptight, socially phobic and sleepy. Some time after that I tried cocanie at a party. Complete paradoxical reaction. Socially phobic, stricken with anxiety, nervousness and fear, hideous. Then for the longest time I took nothing. The bipolar worsened, I developed rapid cycling and extreme mood changes, lots of anger and rage and an ongoing depression with no motivation, focus or joy. I didn't like myself and so didn't a lot of others. By this time I was working here in the Gulf. That's when I found this site and realized a number of things. That's when I started the round of SSRI's, available here as they seem to flourish everywhere. For some people they are a godsend, for me, they worsened the mood swings and the add as well as migraine. Prozac gave me a similar reaction to stims only I was angry too. I now take serzone, lamictal and sulpride and sometimes a small bit of trazadone. I am currently in a bad depression. As I mentioned in a previous post I ordered phentermine online to give me some energy and focus and address the add. Like the ritalin, cocaine, and prozac I was stricken with anxiety, paranoia and phobia. So what gives? Is there an agent common to all of these drugs? Does it mean that neurotransmitters in my brain are malfunctioning as just about everyone else has an opposite reaction? Is there anyone who has also experienced this? I am at my wits end as I need a stimulating med and yet cannot tolerate one. These other meds make somewhat even the mood swimgs but do nothing for the atypical depression and lack of focus and concentration I daily experiece. Lastly If one med has burned out for you is it possible it may work again years later? There are probably no answers to these questions. I return for good to Canada this summer as I have to see a professional pdoc for the first time in my life. I would like to try the selegiline but wonder if it at all resembles the others in it's action. Thanks and sorry for the length of this altho it has felt good to tell someone after so many years
poster:lillabelle
thread:550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030530/msgs/230394.html