Posted by Angel Girl on May 12, 2003, at 17:55:28
In reply to Re: Brain shivers?, posted by kalyb on May 12, 2003, at 9:34:50
> Thanks napaba - I know what you mean now. I had this the first day I took it.
>
> I'm not going great with it so far. My first day on it I felt very very weird, although I did manage to have a driving lesson (warning the instructor to watch out for my driving, and if he felt I was driving badly to stop and take over). But I did well on it driving. Unfortunately after two days on it I've missed two days - not a good start but I was out with friends on saturday night and was reluctant to take it, not really wanting to have to explain to them why I might suddenly want to go home (or started acting weird). I'll start again tonight but to be truthful, I'm subconsciously far too scared.
>
> Finding it hard to describe/relate what it's doing to me, to others around me. I share a house with friends, and while one means well, she really has NO idea. She asked the other day if it had affected my sleep - I said well, I did sleep, but can't remember if I slept well or not. (The feeling that you might not have slept at all, plus the dreams?). Her reply: well if you can't remember, then you must have slept well! I'm sure everyone reading this will understand that's not the case when you're taking drugs like this. How can I help people like her to understand what this is like? I feel if I have people around me who can't understand (or can't take on board) what I'm feeling like, it's not going to make me feel any better. I already feel isolated, sick and useless.... and constantly being pushed to do things I feel unable or unwilling to do. Anyone else got any ideas here? Particularly for those days when you feel very much at odds with "normal" people and unable to relate to them?
kalybI too have times, many in fact, where I can't recall how well I've slept and have had family tell me that if you can't remember then you must have slept when I in actuality I don't think I have. The problem with me is MEMORY or lack thereof. All these drugs have taken that away from me.
I also completely understand how you feel when you mention that you are at odds with 'normal' people. I used to feel that there was nowhere for me to fit into this world, I didn't belong anywhere. I feel the same isolation as you do. I'm a lot farther along maybe than you in my recovery and I no longer feel that way. That's not to say that I feel 'normal' because I wonder if that will EVER happen. Just know that things will get better for you. Hang in there and take care.
Angel Girl
poster:Angel Girl
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030505/msgs/226161.html