Posted by bretbe on April 1, 2003, at 10:27:37
In reply to Bretbe, why do you want to quit?, posted by Guy on March 31, 2003, at 18:37:32
Hi There!
Yes, it is Klonopin which have taken now for almost 10 years. It originally given to me in the psych ward (I slit my wrist) to help me sleep and help with the anxiety. It took the edge off at the time but no real significant benefits other than sleep. The reason I wanted to try to get off was because I didn't feel like it was helping me and I worried that my brain had just adjusted to having it in my system. I don't like feeling I HAVE to take something if it isn't helping. I tried going off myself a few times cutting down to .5 mg giving me weird sensations in my head which were kind of cool in way but quickly giving way to extreme dysphoria, mental pain, irritability, etc. I suppose you could argue that it proves it was helping but it actually felt like going off Klonipin was even worse than my original symptoms...although, come to think of it, I never thought it was possible to feel worse and still be alive. Anyway, in researching benzos on the Internet, I found a number of reports, especially in the UK, about this dependence issue with benzos especially Klonopin which has, perhaps, been over prescribed in the past. Supposedly, it is especially the last few micrograms that are the hardest to get off of. I also read theories about its possible negative impact on short-term memory. Yes, I know, there are all kinds of conspiracy theories out there and a segment of the population just anti-medication so one cannot always believe what one reads. Still, I didn't like being dependent on it if it wasn't really helping. I also thought it interesting that my withdrawel symptoms felt like aggravations of my original symptoms. Again, you could argue this means Klonipin is helping but you must understand that after 15 years of this horrible illness (dysphoria, mental pain, anguish, etc.) I'm vigilant about any clues that might better help me in the direction of a medication that will work significantly. In 15 years, I have been on dozens of medications with no benefit. So, since benzos work on the gabba system (in theory), I've been trying Depakote which supposedly augments the gabba system too. I had a good response initially but now spiraled back to Hell.
So, in short :-) (sorry for such a long message), I am now taking the position like many others that whether or not it is has any impact, I'm tired of fighting to get off of it so I guess I am on Klonopin for life...why fight it anymore? I just wish I had been more informed even if I ended up taking it anyway since no one told me at the time about the kind of dependence it can build.
poster:bretbe
thread:214621
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030329/msgs/215041.html