Posted by zeugma on March 5, 2003, at 20:19:09
In reply to Re: Dopamine agonists, posted by Michael Bell on March 4, 2003, at 23:01:38
This is a very interesting discussion. I definitely have Social Phobia, but I have only become aware of it as a result of taking an AD for depression and overall dysfunction and malaise. The fear I used to feel was too constant to put a finger on what was causing it and why. Now I am aware that I am terribly uncomfortable interacting with others, and I mentally try to prepare myself, while waiting for the elevator, for the dreaded possibility that there might actually be someone in that elevator with whom I might have to interact. At least now I can try to prepare myself, but it's exhausting and extremely demoralizing when my preparations fail, which is often.
I used to drink alcohol to deal with this, and it worked but took a toll on my body. I basically dropped out of graduate school for a couple of years because I found I couldn't write papers without getting very drunk in the process. I suppose writing for me is too much of an
'interaction.' Also I have noticed a kind of 'cognitive stiffness' that alcohol, in particular, seemed to remedy. People said I seemed much more natural and normal when drunk than when sober. I do know that something happens in my brain when I drink that magnifies my problem-solving and creative capacities, and helps me pass for 'normal.' GABA release and dopamine transmission sound like likely reasons for this, especially the dopamine transmission. Dopamine governs movement, right? A lot of times I feel that life is a series of incredibly complicated movements, and I can only manage a few at a time until I trip myself up. It's that 'fluidity' that I value so much in alcohol. I'm wondering if I should think about taking Nardil. Right now I'm on 40 mg nortriptyline and 30 mg Buspar. I'm thinking I should push the dosages of these meds as much as possible- they've both helped a lot but have also made me aware of how far I still have to go. If I didn't practically live on soy products, curiousity, as well as a desire to solve these long-standing problems, would have asking for Nardil next time I see my doc.